How aware are you of single people, on a scale of 1-10? Do you give them a moment’s thought as you go about your day in a happy couple (or thruple; sure, it’s 2020). Do you know that millions of them move among us, and that they live and breathe and occasionally even thrive, despite being so heartbreakingly alone? Would you perhaps consider adopting one, receiving annual Christmas cards and a nice certificate, for the same price as a flat white? Well, the day after every Valentine’s Day is Singles Awareness Day (SAD). It’s the one time of the year when our unattached brothers and sisters can finally feel proud and seen, and it is a cause we at the Telegraph Magazine are proud to support with this, a definitely-not-random list of the eight most eligible singletons in the world right now. Please, spare what you can. Astonishing, isn’t it? Charming little Thomas Cruise Mapother IV just cannot settle down, despite being a totally normal man with totally normal hobbies and totally normal interests and nothing to hide at all, and the fact that all his marriages ended when his wives were precisely 33. Form an orderly queue, human ladies. Probably not the *most* trapped and frustrated creature in 10 Downing Street (Carrie, blink twice if you need rescuing) but can they not hire something to keep Larry company? If only to help him resist the temptation to claw Dominic Cummings’ eyes out. Is it his peculiar body shape that puts people off? The fact he’s so quiet? In 122 years, Bibendum, the official mascot of the Michelin tyre company, has not once been seen with a significant other. It’s high time that changed. And he knows loads of great restaurants. You’ve heard a lot about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston over the past few weeks (sorry about that), but what about the third wheel of that particular showbiz tricycle? Who wouldn’t want to have their name turned into a portmanteau with the letters ‘ngelina’? Davengelina? Colingelina? It could be you, gents. What a life MacKenzie’s having. In 1993 she married sweet, nerdy Jeff Bezos after meeting him at a New York hedge fund. Twenty-six years, four children, one empire and minimal tax later they divorced after ‘a long period of loving exploration’, leaving her with just $37 billion, a four per cent stake in Amazon and no need to sleep with Jeff Bezos any more. That is what family lawyers call ‘a win-win’. Born in New York, raised in the UK, educated at Wellington and now Georgetown University in Washington, DC. The Duke of Cambridge is his godfather, while his grandfather is Constantine II, the last king of Greece. If you’re a fan of his Instagram page, you’ll know his hobbies include ‘taking moving black-and-white photographs of grouse moors’ and ‘having good hair’. He’s there for the taking. Arguably the proudest of them all. Last year Hermione decided she isn’t ‘single’ at all, thank you very much, but in fact actively ‘self-partnered’, like the UK post-Brexit, or most boys between the ages of 13 and 17. It doesn’t sound as if she’s particularly bothered about finding anyone, but I’m sure if somebody worked their magic... Ha ha. You can use that. Never did reveal a Mr or Mrs Scott, did he? All that scrubbing in the shower, all that polishing of knobs, all that ‘BANG! And the dirt is gone’, but nobody to share his life with. You’d never need to clean again, and Barry is obviously a man of great passion. Get in there before he runs off with the Flake Girl or, I don’t know, Captain Birdseye.