Supermarkets have been urged to welcome all families “with kindness and compassion” after reports of single parents across Scotland being challenged or turned away by staff and abused by members of the public as they try to shop with their children. Bruce Adamson, the children and young people’s commissioner for Scotland, said the problem, first highlighted by the Guardian at the beginning of April, was “widespread and getting worse across the country” as supermarket staff enforced strict physical distancing rules. Now Adamson and a coalition of 13 of Scotland’s biggest parents’ and children’s charities have written to the chief executives of all the UK’s major supermarket chains, as well as the British Retail Consortium, calling on them to “respect the diversity of families and the need for some parents and carers to bring their children for essential shopping”. The letter, which has been sent to 12 chief executives, including those of Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Asda, Morrison’s and Co-op, asks for urgent guidance and training for staff, and for clear information to be posted at shop entrances “explaining that some parents and carers may need to be shopping with children and that customers abusing them or challenging their right to be there will not be tolerated”. Support workers at One Parent Families Scotland (OPFS), one of the signatories to the letter, have reported incidents of lone parents being told by supermarket staff to leave children alone outside the stores while they shop, questioned about why they cannot leave them at home and verbally abused by other shoppers. The OPFS director, Satwat Rehman, said: “I completely understand the need to get a balance with social distancing advice, but one in four families with dependent children in Scotland are headed by a single parent, so there has to be a bit of common sense applied.” Asked about the letter at her daily media briefing, Scotland’s first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, said: “No parent should be abused or bullied or made to feel uncomfortable in any way about having a child in a supermarket.” She added: “Ideally it would be best if children weren’t in supermarkets right now but we understand that for some parents it is not an option … because you’ve got nobody else to look after them.” Underlining that “if parents or carers are taking their children to the shops, there is likely to be a good reason”, the letter – which is also signed by Children in Scotland, Children 1st and Parenting Across Scotland – goes on to explain that a parent may do so if they have no other family support, but also if another parent is working, shielding, self-isolating or caring for another disabled child at home. Harriet Hall, from Edinburgh, who cares for her two children on her own, described being “loudly shamed” and told she should have left her 10-year-old and six-year-old at home by a member of staff in her local Sainsbury’s last Friday evening. While she received an apology from the supermarket after tweeting about the incident, she said she was “shocked” by the response from other single parents. “I thought I was calling out an individual incident that upset me and my family, but what shocked me was the number of people who got in touch to say it had happened to them. Or that they were disabled and something similar had happened with their carer. There’s a real failure to recognise the diversity of families, and individuals, who need to access supermarkets now, especially when delivery slots are so hard to come by,” she said. A Sainsbury’s spokesperson said: “To keep everyone safe and help us to serve more households, we are asking customers to send only one adult per household to stores. We understand that there are occasions when an adult will need to bring children with them and they are welcome in our stores. “We have apologised to Harriet, as we know this was not her experience, and we are investigating with the store.”