y sister moved in with my dad during lockdown. She has messaged me to say she is concerned about the amount he is vaping and smoking. Apparently, he is vaping the equivalent of 30 cigarettes a day and has started having a few rollups, too. Despite being a smoker most of his life, he managed to quit a few years ago but seems to have taken it up again. When my sister told him she thought he was vaping too much, he reacted angrily. What should we do? When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed. If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.