hate watching comedy. I know, it’s weird for someone who has performed as a comedian for a decade and a half to say that. But I don’t like it, largely because I’ve been a comedian so long. I’ve got so much experience working as an improviser, standup, musical comedian and haunted cabaret Shrek clown that when I see someone else perform comedy there are only two outcomes for me. 1. I pick the joke before it arrives and find the experience tedious. 2. I don’t pick the joke before it arrives and instead become extraordinarily envious that I didn’t think of such an excellent joke first. I am largely immune to comedy but that’s not to say I don’t find things on the internet funny. I do, it’s just that they’re often really weird and creepy or displays of hubris, idiocy or misfortune. 1. Catch the ice dude What’s not to love about this gentleman? Witness as he strikes his pose on a winter’s day. Marvel at his defiant proclamations and announcement of his new band. Observe as he launches himself, coccyx first, towards the frozen pool. 2. Weather boy Nothing warms my shrivelled heart more than seeing a grown man get owned by a child. Particularly if the man is trying to be a cool hip dude talking about fireworks. 3. Surströmming What is the smelliest food in the world? That’s a question I happen to know the answer to: surströmming. It’s Swedish for sour herring. Basically, they put the herring in tins with juuuuuuust a tiny bit of salt. Just enough salt to stop the fish from completely rotting. They they leave the almost rotting fish in the tin for at least six months. Then this guy opens it in his car. 4. The worst mother in the DC Universe This kid is going to be so pissed. 5. r/longfurbies I am fascinated by the exploits of the internet’s many subcultures. I’m especially fond of those folks who get a hold of old Furbies and modify them to have really long bodies. They’re just so dang elegant. 6. Baby, you’re a plastic bag The Mona Lisa is nothing when sat next to the glory of the opening line of Katy Perry’s 2016 hit Firework repeated over the entire tune of Katy Perry’s 2016 hit Firework. 7. Tim and Eric’s Celery Man OK, so there are exceptions to the whole scripted-comedy-doesn’t-make-me-laugh thing. This is one of them. 8. Slippery customer It’s kinda hard to find light in the times of coronavirus. Our lives have changed so much – but this dude replaced all the bottles of hand sanitiser in his workplace with lube. 9. This glorious duet There’s something magical in this duet. The earnest US teenager next to the Australian ratbag in glasses that are way too small, and a life lesson we should all listen to. 10. Tony’s gonna stand on an egg I will say to you now, in complete sincerity, that this video is responsible for snapping me out of multiple depressive episodes. I don’t know why Tony was trying to stand on that egg. But I do know that his attempt has brightened my life. 29 January 2016 was the day the perfect video was posted to YouTube.