Name: Fyre festival merch. Age: A little over three years. Price: The current bid, at time of writing, is $355. That’s around 270 British quids. Mate. No way, but it’s just a baseball cap, how can it be worth that much money? Not “just a baseball cap”. Look, it is clearly emblazoned with the word FYRE, plus logo. Fyre, Fyre … Fyre festival, right? Just remind me. Well, it was billed as a luxury weekend festival in the Bahamas for the rich and the beautiful – influencers, models, celebrities and the like. But it turned into a fiasco, with thousands of partygoers stranded without enough food or water or proper accommodation. More seriously, loads of locals were left seriously out of pocket by the (non-)event. Fyre’s organiser, Billy McFarland, ended up going to jail for fraud. I remember! With … the guy who said he would … Yes, Andy King was the breakout star of the Netflix documentary – one of two about the event – after he admitted on camera he was “fully prepared” to give oral sex in order to secure a shipment of Evian bottled water for the festival. After which he became something of an internet sensation, inevitably. But this isn’t about Andy, it’s about a baseball cap. Not just one. Lots of them. Also hoodies (current bid $355), sweatshirts ($355), T-shirts ($110), wristbands ($50) and other items. Merch, right? Correct. The real deal, official branded clothing and merchandise that was meant for sale at the infamous festival. Isn’t that a bit weird? Like buying a little piece of failure and fraud? Maybe, but then spending a lot of money on not very much is in the spirit of the event. Also, Fyre is kind of legendary, more than a little because of Andy King. And it’s an auction? Correct, ends 13 August. Expect those bids to keep on rising. God, it’s not Billy McFarland selling it, is it? He wanted to, while on pretrial release, but the merch was confiscated and Billy is still banged up. No, the US Marshals Service is auctioning the stuff. With the proceeds going to …? McFarland’s victims. There have already been crowd-funders to raise money for Bahamian people who suffered financially from the fiasco. Hey, maybe $355 for a baseball cap doesn’t sound so bad after all. That’s the spirit. Now get bidding. Do say: “I don’t suppose any of the lots contain branded bottled water, do they?” Don’t say: “Oops, I don’t have any money. Would there be any other way of paying for the water?”