The funniest standup I’ve ever seen … Ken Dodd at the London Palladium 30 years ago. He was a laughter-generating machine. He didn’t draw breath for two hours, piling gag upon gag, some corny, some surreal. He was utterly irresistible. The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen … An Audience With Kenneth Williams. My wife and I went with him to the recording. He was paid £10,000, the largest fee he had ever received and was so nervous he was shaking. But his performance was matchless. He knew it was the best thing he’d ever done. The funniest person I know … Undoubtedly Barry Cryer. Every time I see him he has a new joke to share. Of course, he’s getting on. In fact, these days he says he doesn’t dare buy a green banana. The funniest heckle I’ve ever had … When I was an MP, John Prescott barracked me in the House of Commons, shouting: “Woolly jumper! Woolly jumper!” I pointed out to him that the joy of a woolly jumper is that you can take it off at will, whereas the blight of a woolly mind is that you’re lumbered with it for life. Mr Prescott got the last laugh because he ended up as deputy prime minister and I ended up on the Edinburgh fringe. The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned … I own a lot of novelty knitwear and I think some of it’s quite fun. My wife says: “Funny peculiar, Gyles, not funny ha ha.” The funniest dream I’ve ever had … I regularly dream about the Queen. Apparently, millions of people do. I wonder who she dreams about? The funniest word … Gongoozle. My podcast partner Susie Dent introduced me to it. It means to gaze idly – especially at water. My favourite joke … At the moment it’s the one about the scarecrow who was given an award for being outstanding in his field. What’s Black and White and Red All Over? The Best Worst Joke Book in the World by Gyles Brandreth is published by Puffin Books on 20 Aug. His Break a Leg! theatre tour runs from April to July 2021