My 15-year-old son is refusing to take responsibility for anything and, although he’s capable, he does not show any interest in his education. I am worried about him and his future. Sometimes, I feel bad and tell him that he’s trying his best, but soon I start feeling concerned again. At other times, I feel angry with him for the way he is behaving. I try to encourage him by amplifying every little good thing he does, particularly in school, and have tried speaking to him like an adult. I am also worried that his younger siblings, who are doing well, will follow in his footsteps. Do you have any tips on how I can inspire him to change? • When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed. • Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site. • If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns. • All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.