Abe Lincoln Potus 16, Emancipation Proclamation issuer, ill-advised theatregoer. But, most importantly, gives a rousing speech – not dissimilar to the Gettysburg Address – for Bill and Ted’s history report … even though they kidnapped him. Bill S Preston Esq One of our titular heroes, played by Alex Winter. Noticeable for a Valley accent, and prone to wearing crop tops (so in right now) in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989). Circle K Strange things are afoot here. A chain of convenience stores in the US, this is where our protagonists first encounter Rufus, their future selves and a certain phone box. Dad If there’s a villain in Excellent Adventure, it’s this guy. Officious and unsupportive, he threatens to send Ted to military school if he doesn’t pass History. Heinous. Evil Robot Us’s The evil henchmen of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991), they – spoiler alert – totally kill Bill and Ted, and take their place in order to alter the future. Freud The father of modern psychology – pronounced “Frood”. He offers to psychoanalyse Bill, who politely refuses, self-diagnosing a “minor Oedipal complex” (see Missy). Grim Reaper Soul collector of the recently deceased, really bad at board games, and most excellent double bass player for Wyld Stallyns. Hell Not a nice place – looks a bit like a Megadeth album cover. Where worst fears are realised and traumas are relived for all eternity. Basically, Ikea on a Sunday. Iron Maiden Not the heavy metal band, rather the medieval torture contraption from which they took their name. Some Royal Ugly Dudes order Bill and Ted be placed in one after catching them. Joan of Arc Warrior, martyr, wannabe aerobics instructor. Another one of B&T’s kidnappees. King Edward IV The most likely king for the medieval time period in which our heroes land. Ludwig van Beethoven He’s 250 years old this year yet surprisingly adept at 80s synthesisers, “Beeth-oven” provides the musical interlude during the history report. Missy Bill’s young stepmom, and the source of his Oedipal complex. Missy marries Ted’s dad in Bogus Journey and then, in Face the Music, someone else we know. Napoleon Bill and Ted’s first abductee is babysat by Ted’s younger brother, Deacon. Bonaparte proceeds to throw tantrums at an ice-cream parlour, a bowling alley and a waterpark. There’s no pleasing some dictators. Orion The producers and distributors of the first two movies. Sold to MGM in 1997, the Orion “vanity card” still appears at the start of the new movie. Phone box Our heroes’ mode of transport, not in any way stolen from Doctor Who. Simply find your required time period in the phone book, dial the number, and make sure to close the door. Quest What is a hero without one? In the first movie they must pass history class to stop their band splitting up; in the second they must stop being dead; and in the third they must save the universe with one song. Rufus Mentor, snappy dresser,and calming presence. Rufus is sent from the year 2688 in order to guide the Wyld Stallyns to greatness. Played by the much-missed George Carlin, Rufus’s successor in the new movie is his daughter, Kelly, played by Kristen Schaal. San Dimas Satellite city of LA and home to our protagonists. Theodore ‘Ted’ Logan That guy from Speed. Universe Its very future is at stake if Wyld Stallyns don’t write the prophesied song that will save … y’know … existence. No pressure, lads. Vasquez Rocks Where B&T are thrown to their deaths in Bogus Journey. Other users of this location include Hot Shots! Part Deux, Blazing Saddles and Star Trek. Wyld Stallyns Bill and Ted’s band. Their music helps put an end to war and poverty, and aligns the planets and brings them into universal harmony … which is more than East 17 ever did. Xcellent Look, it’s hard to find a decent entry starting with an “X”, OK? (E)xcellent is the positive adjective most regularly deployed by our protagonists, shortly before some air guitar. You sunk my battleship Death’s exclamation after he loses the first board game to which Bill and Ted have challenged him to win back their lives. Other games played include Twister and Cluedo. ZZ Top Bands featured on the soundtracks include Megadeth, Kiss and Weezer, but ZZ Top sneak in here, not only because it’s a very useful “Z”, but because our heroes emerge looking exactly like them for the finale of Bogus Journey … and then proceed to play a Kiss song. Bill & Ted Face the Music is in cinemas today