Stephen Colbert “During the last four years, we’ve occasionally talked about this administration – you know, when it was appropriate,” Colbert joked on Thursday’s Late Show. “But now that it’s about to be over, the president’s team is leaving it all out on the field after they burned down the stadium. “I’m not scared about it, or angry about it,” the host continued. “I’m just in awe at the sheer majesty of their stupidity.” Case in point: former national security adviser and Trump pardon recipient Michael Flynn, who on Tuesday retweeted an ad calling on the president to invoke limited martial law. “Yes, limited, which means tanks will crush dissidents, but only at participating Arby’s,” Colbert joked. “But don’t worry, it’s not a forever coup – Flynn is calling on the president to ‘temporarily suspend the constitution’.” A temporary “suspension” of the constitution is “like when Hamilton said in the Federalist papers: ‘Are you having trouble with your democracy? Have you tried turning it on and off again?’” Colbert deadpanned. Flynn isn’t the Trump associate who “takes the crazy cake”, though – that would be Trump’s personal lawyer and “hungover sweet potato” Rudy Giuliani, who appeared at a Michigan house oversight committee hearing on Thursday to make his baseless voter fraud case before state legislators. “He finally got someone official to take him seriously – and he blew it,” Colbert said, referencing an unfortunate moment when Giuliani farted while presenting his case. “We laugh, but he was just citing the important legal precedent established in the landmark case of Smelt It v Dealt It.” But Giuliani “wasn’t the only person ruining his case”, Colbert continued, moving to the testimony of election systems contractor Melissa Carone, whose incoherent performance could only be described as “your cousin start[ing] a fight after three mimosas” at Thanksgiving. Carone’s testimony was so unhinged that at one point, even Giuliani tried to shush her. “It’s a bad sign when Rudy Giuliani thinks you’re going over the top,” said Colbert. “It’s like the Hulk pulling you aside and saying, ‘Hulk think you need anger management. Hulk not like you when you angry.’” Trevor Noah On the Daily Show, Trevor Noah checked in on dismal forecasts for the pandemic: on Wednesday, Dr Robert Redfield, head of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) warned that the coming winter months could be “most difficult time in the public health history of this nation”. A vaccine is around the corner, though its efficacy hinges on the public’s willingness and ability to receive it. “And let’s face it,” said Noah, “in a country where millions of people even refuse to wear a mask, there’s a good chance that many of them will resist getting an injection, which is sort of like a mask that hurts.” Which is why former presidents Bill Clinton, George W Bush and Barack Obama have volunteered to receive the vaccine publicly to prove its safety. “Now that is some presidential leadership – offering to get the vaccine on live TV before everybody else to boost public confidence,” Noah said. “Also, it’s a great way to sneak ahead to the front of the line. I see you, Barry.” One might wonder, Noah continued, why Trump hasn’t volunteered to join the former presidents in a show of support for the vaccine. “By the time the vaccines are available, he’ll also be a former president, but don’t forget, he beat corona already. He’s immune,” Noah explained. “Also, he can’t go before the other presidents because he’ll take all the lollipops.” Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Kimmel, meanwhile, checked in on Trump’s flailing administration, starting with the attorney general, Bill Barr, who has fallen out of the president’s favor after he publicly acknowledged that he had not seen enough evidence of voter fraud to overturn the results of the election. Despite Barr’s comments, Trump still refused to concede the election on Wednesday, arguing the justice department hadn’t “looked very hard” to verify his baseless fraud claims. “Have they tried looking behind all the little doors of the advent calendar?” Kimmel wondered. “Maybe the evidence is in there!” Asked if he still had confidence in Barr, Trump responded: “Ask me that in a number of weeks from now.” “Thanks, President Magic 8-ball,” Kimmel responded. “You know Trump is so jealous of Kim Jong-un right now. ‘Why can’t I feed Bill Barr to starving coyotes?’” Still, “this is exciting – this is the part of the movie where we start rooting for Predator to beat Alien,” he added. Meanwhile, Mike Pence “seems to be distancing himself” from Trump’s intransigence, Kimmel said, although “usually when he’s distancing himself from you, you’re a woman whose ankles are showing.” According to a White House insider, Pence does not “want to go down on the Trump ship”, but as Kimmel pointed out, “that’s like the first mate on the Lusitania trying to distance himself from the torpedo hole. It’s too late, my man. You’re about to get wet.”