Stephen Colbert With the first doses of the Covid vaccine now reaching healthcare workers across the US, there is light at the end of the pandemic tunnel in time for the holidays, Stephen Colbert reported Thursday night from Delaware, where he was set to conduct the first joint interview of Joe Biden and his wife, Dr Jill Biden, since the election. The White House, meanwhile, has “decided to stick with its pandemic plan of not having a plan.” On Wednesday, it was revealed that former House and Health Human Services advisor Paul Alexander urged top health officials over the summer to adopt a “herd immunity” approach to Covid-19, which would’ve allowed millions of Americans to be infected, “thereby changing the Department of Health and Human Services to the Department of Hell and Human Sacrifice,” Colbert quipped. Alexander’s plan – let the virus run rampant, using a concept of “herd immunity” often applied to vaccination campaigns rather than infectious disease outbreaks — would result in the deaths of nearly 3m Americans. “If your plan to save humanity involves killing millions of people, you’re not a health advisor. You’re a Marvel villain,” Colbert said. “So clearly, it’s more important than ever that we just get to the inauguration.” In the waning days of his presidency, a stewing Trump has reportedly considered issuing blanket pardons to his staff, with requests logged on a spreadsheet; one White House insider told CNN that Trump’s last-minute pardon scramble has “turned crazy.” “I’m sorry … turned crazy?” marveled Colbert. “This is the president who advised people to inject bleach, said that a dead Venezuelan leader stole the election, wanted to trade Puerto Rico for Greenland and wanted to stop hurricane with a nuclear bomb. We made the turn to crazy town a long time ago, now we’re just doing donuts in cuckoo canyon.” Seth Meyers On Late Night, Seth Meyers panned Biden’s optimistic vision of a cooperative bipartisan future following Trump’s removal from office. Biden is “trying to appeal to Republicans in an attempt to return to a bipartisan normalcy that isn’t possible,” Meyers said, pointing to recent remarks in which the president-elect predicted that “as Donald Trump’s shadow fades away, you’re going to see an awful lot of change”. “Don’t get me wrong, after the last four years it will be nice to have a president who’s optimistic,” Meyers said. “But sometimes optimism can backfire. Biden’s like a football coach in a sports movie who says to a player, ‘you may be the smallest kid on this team but you’ve got the biggest heart. Now you go show them what you can do!’ And then a week later he’s sitting next to the hospital bed saying, ‘Doc told me you broke the leg in 50 places, I didn’t even know that was possible!’” “When it comes to the Republican party, Donald Trump’s shadow is not just gonna fade away,” Meyers continued. “At least, not for a long time. It probably won’t even leave the White House. I wouldn’t be surprised if even after he leaves it’s still there, wandering around the lawn where he used to scream-answer questions around a helicopter engine.” Meyers also expressed contempt for Republican politicians, such as Missouri Senator Josh Hawley, who called for a bipartisan push to “restore faith in the election” after voters were misled by the President and GOP allies’ baseless claims of voter fraud. “Notice how Republicans do this little rhetorical trick where they claim that because their voters think the election was rigged, that means we have to restore faith in our elections,” he said. “If they do think the election is rigged it’s only because you guys keep telling them it’s rigged. You’re the ones causing this problem. You can’t just turn around and say you want to solve it. These guys are like bank robbers stuffing cash in a duffel bag and saying, ‘By the way, you should really get some security cameras in here.’” Jimmy Kimmel In Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel turned to Mike Pence and his wife, Karen, who received a Covid vaccine on television to demonstrate its safety. “I guess the thinking is if it’s good enough for America’s first Karen, it should be good enough for the rest of them, too,” Kimmel joked. “This is exciting for Mike Pence - getting vaccinated is the only time Mother ever does shots with him.” Pence’s public vaccination comes six months after he wrote a Wall Street Journal op-ed claiming there would be no second wave of the pandemic in America. “Maybe save that dose for somebody else,” Kimmel said. “The only cure Mike Pence should get right now is a bottle of Clorox and a heat lamp.” Meanwhile, the mayor of Atlantic City, New Jersey has announced an auction for the chance to blow up Trump’s now-closed Plaza Casino. The highest bidder will press the button at the scheduled demolition next year – “we should chip in and get this for Hillary Clinton, right?” Kimmel joked. “Of course, the easiest way to make a Trump casino implode is just to put Trump back in charge of running it again.”