Lucy on Luke What were you hoping for? A Frenchman or Londoner with the face of Jeremy Meeks, a campaigner with a passion like Marcus Rashford and the wit of Kevin Hart. First impressions? He seems lovely and I bet his school pupils really like him. What did you talk about? Our concerns about the impact of the lockdown on the mental health of young people, our experiences leafleting for the Green party, theatre. Any awkward moments? When he changed from his laptop to his phone we had a good chuckle about his steamy screen making it look as if he was in a sauna. Good table manners? Very. How long did you stay on the call? We talked for an hour and a half. Best thing about Luke? His patience: it took ages for me to work out how to order on the Just Eat app and he guided me through the process. Would you introduce him to your friends? Maybe to my friend Karen (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Describe Luke in three words Kind, distant, caring. What do you think he made of you? Hopefully someone who is kind, funny and extremely passionate about the mental health of children. But who is also very cheeky and would get you into lots of trouble. Any connection issues? Nearly all the way through, which may have slightly marred the evening. And... did you swap numbers? The conversation didn’t arise. How did the call end? He was politely not eating his food. I suggested that he settle down with his takeaway for the evening. If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be? To meet a Frenchman or Londoner with the face of Jeremy Meeks, a campaigner with a passion like Marcus Rashford and the wit of Kevin Hart. Marks out of 10? 10. Luke was lovely, but there was no online chemistry from either of us. Would you meet again? Sadly, it’s a no from me. But I know that there is someone very special out there for our Luke. Luke on Lucy What were you hoping for? For some light relief; to maybe meet a partner; to talk to someone outside my existing virtual friend set (no offence to them). First impressions? Amazingly warm, hardworking, caring, devoted mum... radiant! What did you talk about? Shared school work experiences, Lucy’s son’s encyclopaedic dinosaur knowledge, Brighton-San Francisco axis of similarity. Any awkward moments? Trying to get remote dinners ordered on apps neither of us were regulars at, tech running out of battery and my sound not working, briefly. Good table manners? Perfect. How long did you stay on the call? An hour and a half. Best thing about Lucy? Her obvious passion for everything she does. Her dedication. Her laugh (if I’m allowed several?) Her genuine and down-to-earth nature. Would you introduce her to your friends? 100%. Without a second’s hesitation. Describe Lucy in three words Warm, genuine, hilarious. What do you think she made of you? I don’t think there was any mutual attraction. I think I find it a tiny bit more troublesome than most to fully engage virtually, especially in a personal/ private capacity. Any connection issues? Yes, many! And... did you swap numbers? No. How did the call end? Wishing each other well and letting Lucy get some R&R, as her days normally start at 5am. If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be? Not meeting in the relative stress and peculiarity of lockdown. Marks out of 10? 10 for Lucy, and 10 for the general company she offers. Would you meet again? Absolutely. Although I sense this sentiment is not likely reciprocated. Regardless, I am firmly of the view that she is a total catch.