There has been a ton of talk on the red carpet about THE RETURN OF GLAMOUR, and how it has banished the year-long funk we have all been suffering though. GLAMOUR WINS OUT they said. And then this happened. Lakeith Stanfield Woah so Lakeith Stanfield is in custom-made Saint Laurent by Anthony Vaccarello. Where to start? The Safar-style jacket, the nipped-in waist, the flared trousers, the girth of those lapels. It is loosely based on a women’s look by the same brand. What woman wouldn’t want to wear that? Riz Ahmed and Fatima Farheen Mirza He’s a dreamy actor. She’s a dreamy bestselling poet. Unsurprisingly, they look utterly perfect, as is their love story. (They were recently married, having met by chance in a coffee shop. He proposed to her using Scrabble tiles.) Anyway: fashion. Yet more strong menswear: Riz’s tailoring is flawless and the black T-shirt looks a lot more modern than a bow tie. Regina King There’s something deeply transformative about Regina King’s custom-made blue silk dress by Louis Vuitton. Maybe it’s the ethereal blue shade. Maybe it’s the structure. It’s probably the butterfly wings attached to the shoulders. Maria Bakalova The Borat star is in plunging Louis Vuitton tulle, with a diameter that enables social distancing and – I’d hazard – she’s wearing it in homage to Björk’s swan dress, which is 20 years old this year. Turns out that I missed the one viral moment from the red carpet: Riz Ahmed fixing his wife’s hair. In my defence, I was eating wine gums when this happened, so don’t blame me. Andra Day is being interviewed now, and is conducting herself with all the confidence of a woman who is about to ram a four-inch swab up the noses of 80 people so that they can eat some peach cobbler. A custom-made, laser-cut, silk white floor-length gown by Alexander McQueen, topped off with a proper updo and matching clutch like it’s 2012. An actual dress befitting of the season and the mood and impossible to sit down in. Finally. Respect to Carey Mulligan for this, a proper, possibly panniered, dress. It’s a Valentino couture boob tube situation. It’s big enough that she could, of course, be wearing sweatpants underneath but she looks incredibly glamorous and very committed to social distancing. It has just been pointed out to me that this year’s nominee gift bag contains a commemorative Chadwick Boseman NFT. Which means, by my estimation, that we are approximately three years away from monetising the entire In Memoriam segment via the medium of virtual art. Surely one of the most interesting dressers of the past few award ceremonies – did you see the purple Louis Vuitton pyjamas at the Sags, or the white tux from Alexander McQueen at the Baftas? For this, his first non-virtual ceremony this year, he’s wearing a Bottega Veneta tux, a black T-shirt, and hefty jewellery from Cartier. More casual than formal from the off-grid It label of the moment.