I absolutely hate talking on the phone. I am one of those infuriating friends who’d rather have a long, winding text conversation than speak on the phone to arrange a simple plan. People under the age of 60 who still leave voicemails? Seek help. And unknown numbers? I follow Dua Lipa’s first rule (don’t pick up the phone!). But it seems as if there’s a group out there who loathe the inconvenience of talking on the phone even more than me: screenwriters. Watch any film or TV show and you’re likely to notice (and be very irritated by) the fact that characters hardly ever say “goodbye” at the end of phone calls. After the main part of a conversation or a salacious bombshell is dropped, it’s very common for the phone call to abruptly end. No voices clumsily saying “bye” over the top of each other, no awkward variations on “speak soon”. Just pure silence. I am not the only one who is irked by the lack of on-screen goodbyes. It does seem quite rude: after all, even the 81% of millennials who find phone calls “anxiety-inducing” still probably try their best to be polite once they’re on the phone. But is it something people actually do? Anecdotally, it seems like it’s a no, at least in the UK. A reader wrote to the Guardian to say they’d tried this bizarre Hollywood trend for themselves, only for their friends to call back immediately and ask if their “signal had cut out”. Maybe it’s an American thing? This too seems doubtful. There is a whole thread on Reddit where Americans are insistent that not saying “goodbye” is not a part of their culture. There is also the fact that, on US reality TV, it’s very common to see stars such as the Kardashians calling each other and, unless a person is hanging up in anger, there’s usually a goodbye. So it seems as if it is an intentional decision in scripted shows and films. But why would screenwriters do this? One reason could be to add tension. If the conversation is between romantic partners, not saying “bye” could create distance between them. But goodbyes – like the ones dramatically uttered by Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, breathing down her landline to Mr Big – can be equally suspenseful. The disappearance of phone call farewells has probably got more to do with something much more boring: time management. Most of the time pleasantries don’t significantly further a story and, particularly when TV shows and films aren’t made for streaming, writers are very pressed for time. When a show is 23 minutes long, every second is precious and getting straight to the point is essential. A quick Google of how to write dialogue shows that “avoid small talk” is on almost every how-to list. Goodbyes being sidelined from our screens has become a major hang-up for detail-conscious viewers. It’s an instant, awkward reminder that the conversation we are watching is completely scripted. Looking wider, this feels like a sign that even in the streaming era, where running times are more flexible and we inhale content like tubes of paprika Pringles, keeping the pace of a story and holding our attention is more important than pretending everything is real. And that’s a bad call, if you ask me.