When do you get up? I dream of sleeping until noon, but I naturally wake up at 8.30am, deeply hungover, to scroll on Twitter. Then my boyfriend wakes up drenched in martini-sweat. I’ll get brunch delivered and try to run half a marathon. I’m very high-low when it comes to quality of life. Is Sunday a day of work? Weekends frustrate me because everyone stops working; I refuse to. I’m self-employed and have eight jobs: every day is a Monday. Before I was a world-famous drag queen, I worked in a chicken restaurant. I interacted more with raw meat in my adolescence than anyone would like. If you have a day to yourself? I’ll make a smoothie and then… Oh my God, did you hear that car accident outside? Sorry, I’m taking you to the balcony. Where is she running to? It was so loud. What is in the human psyche that makes us want to stare at this stuff? Anyway, it’s Hollywood. So… after brunch? I’ll run to the beach and have a vegan BLT with my producer. After working on music together I’ll head home to watch Bad Girls Club with my boyfriend. Later, we’ll have dinner with a bottle of rosé and laughter, or I’ll put on an episode of Roseanne and gingerly clean my drag room. A trip out of town? Home to Milwaukee, I have a loft there. I like to see the places I used to live, walk past the places I performed, and the costume store where I got my first pair of heels. Do you entertain? I try. Audiences might say otherwise. Honestly? Not really, I don’t have a lot of friends: I can’t think of a single one who doesn’t work for me. Except [fellow drag queen] Katya, but we don’t see each other. And who makes plans? I might be dead by then. I have a weird face, am bald, have difficult skin and look 50. I’ve had my share of luck – I’m ready to go any time.