The funniest standup I’ve ever seen … I once saw Neil Hamburger and laughed uncontrollably … it was actually embarrassing. I was part of a group that went for dinner with him afterwards and then started sobbing uncontrollably … so it might have just been “an episode” I was going through. I left before the starters. The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen … Disinterested Parents of Missing Child on [Chris Morris’s] Jam. The funniest book I’ve ever read … I think I laughed when I read Catch-22. The funniest TV show I have ever seen … Brass Eye. The funniest person I know … They are all much of a muchness. Apart from Alan … who isn’t funny at all. The funniest heckle I’ve ever had … Not really funny but the most industrious: a group of six people bought tickets to see a show of mine. About 30 minutes in, they all stood up together and shouted: “Kim Noble you’re a fucken’ wanker,” in unison, then all marched out. Annoyingly, the audience thought it was staged, which was a shame. They also left just before quite a good bit, which was also a shame. The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned … I found part of my car’s cup holder inside the lining of my jacket recently. I believe it had been there for months. The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten … I covered an Introduction to Schopenhauer book in batter once, deep-fried it and then ate it, but it wasn’t funny. And I retched at each mouthful. The funniest joke I’ve ever heard … I don’t know any. I’ve just Googled funny jokes and read a few to my mum. She laughed at this one: “And the Lord said unto John: ‘Come forth and you will receive eternal life,’ but John came fifth and received a toaster.” Bye.