Short of prefacing it with the words “SOME PERSONAL NEWS!!!” bookended by two Big Red Siren emojis, it’s difficult to know how Harry Kane’s lunchtime tweet announcing his non-departure from Tottenham Hotspur could scarcely have been more #awks. At 12.45pm, the Tottenham striker, or at least the person responsible for running his social media accounts, posted a tweet that began by lavishing praise upon fans Kane and his representatives have treated with thinly disguised contempt in recent months and ended with the revelation that he “will be staying at Tottenham this summer and will be 100% focused on helping the team achieve success”. Harry Kane training with Lucas Moura on Wednesday at Enfield Harry Kane confirms he is staying at Spurs after accepting City deal is dead Read more Even if 100% focus is quite demonstrably 10% lower than the bare minimum required from footballers, the Fiver can’t help but suspect that Kane and his hapless minions agonised at great length over the the exact wording of the dispatch, making sure to convey the impression the decision to stay might have been his even though it quite obviously wasn’t. Such fastidiousness comes in stark contrast to the manner in which they don’t seem to have agonised in any way whatsoever over the wording of the six-year contract that ultimately led to them having to send today’s social media equivalent of a white hankie tied to the end of a raised stick being waved from a frontline trench. Having rumbled on all summer, English football’s most high profile and tedious transfer saga has finally reached its conclusion … for now, even if Kane appears to be holding out some hope of it sparking back into life in January, a highly unlikely Manchester City goal drought permitting. Having evidently decided they were not prepared to meet Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy’s £150m valuation of the player, City’s overlords have now left Kane in the slightly awkward position of being stuck at a club he has publicly declared to be more or less beneath a player who wants “to be playing in the biggest games, the biggest moments”. What with football fans being a fairly fickle bunch, Spurs supporters are unlikely to stay mad at their star striker for long and will instead find some way of apportioning blame for Kane having his head turned to a combination of malign forces at City and a typically anti-Spurs media. And having made no secret of his desire to chase the kind of honours that have thus far eluded him at his current club, Harry can at least comfort himself with the fact that with just one tweet he has single-handedly helped them to “win” the summer transfer window. QUOTE OF THE DAY “Kylian Mbappé feels like leaving, this seems clear to me … Our goal is to extend and keep him. If a player wants to leave it must be under our terms. This applies not just to Kylian but to all players” – PSG’s sporting director lays down the law after turning down Real Madrid’s £137m bid for the want-away striker, who can pitch up in the Spanish capital for free next summer. PSG’s Argentinian all-stars don‘t do it for Mbappé. PSG’s Argentinian all-stars don’t seem too worried whether Kylian Mbappé stays or goes. Photograph: Christophe Petit-Tesson/EPA RECOMMENDED LISTENING Listen up! Get your ears around the latest Football Weekly podcast here. FIVER LETTERS “Last week in my post-employment happy hour league, I (quite inadvertently and with eye-twitching shock) nutmegged an opponent. My team hooted and hollered, exhortations to Messi flew to the heavens, I promptly lost possession, they scored on the counter, and I went home with thigh-knack. Can you find a way to send this account to Charlie Kane and link me with a €5m move to Fiorentina that represents the first domino in That Number 10 moving to City? I could use some Italian food” – Seth Kleinschmidt. Advertisement “The blog-as-club update from Barnet’s chairman that provided the quote of the day in Tuesday’s Fiver was oddly reminiscent of the time Martin Allen, then at Notts County, posted a request on the club website for someone who could teach him to whistle. As it’s been three years since Allen’s most recent spell at Barnet, and with the Bees starting their season on the wrong end of a 0-5 thumping at the hands of County, maybe the stars are aligning for Allen to return to the Hive and take charge for the sixth time” – Ed Taylor. Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com, or tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport, to win a copy of Underground, Overground: The Fault Lines of Football Clubs by Andi Thomas. You can read an extract from the book here. Today’s winner of a copy is Seth Kleinschmidt. NEWS, BITS AND BOBS Graham Potter accepts why Premier League clubs are not particularly willing to release their players for international duty. “I can understand the decision because it means 10 days in isolation,” Potter chirped. “That also means further time in training to get them up to speed to play. You’re looking at players being unavailable for three weeks. That’s a long time.” Former England international Alan Peacock has confirmed he is suffering with dementia and Alzheimer’s. The 83-year-old won six caps for his country and played 238 games for Middlesbrough between 1954 and 1964. Alan Peacock wit the lat Jack Charlton aat the Riverside stadium in 2013. Alan Peacock wit the late Jack Charlton at the Riverside stadium in 2013. Photograph: Greig Cowie/Bpi/REX/Shutterstock Peterborough and Cardiff have been fined £5,000 each for some skirmishes on the pitch during their match on 17 August. It all kicked off after a challenge by Bluebirds midfielder Marlon Pack on Posh defender Nathan Thompson. Atlético Madrid have splashed the cash on Hertha Berlin forward Matheus Cunha. The La Liga champions opened their chequebook to the tune of £26m to secure the Brazilian forward on a five-year contract. Could Cristiano Ronaldo be returning to Manchester? The Rumour Mill says it is a possibility. STILL WANT MORE? From an Austrian park to Villa Park. Ben Bocsak takes you through the career of Leon Bailey. Kostas Tsimikas’s superb start to the season has helped Liverpool get over the absence of Andy Robertson, writes Ben McAleer. Which teammates have played against each other the most? The Knowledge has the answer. Saïd Benrahma could be a key man for West Ham this season, writes Jacob Steinberg. And sign up for a daily Big Sports Day email here. It’s not particularly funny but, hey, glass houses and all that. Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE DAY WE’VE HAD!