What exciting news that Charlie Mullins, owner of Pimlico Plumbers, has sold his business to a US company, Neighborly, for around £130m. Announcing the deal, Mike Bidwell, president of Neighborly, said: “We are thrilled to be growing our global footprint with the addition of Pimlico as the next subsidiary brand to join our global family of home service professionals. Pimlico’s wide array of trade services as well as its exceptional customer care align with Neighborly’s purpose, which is to build an extensive service community known for providing excellent experiences.” Oh dear, where to start with such meaningless management speak. Footprints, excellence, family, community? No, Mike, what we really want is someone to turn up promptly armed with a wrench and a plunger and not charge us the earth. Now that the MCC has declared that batter, not batsman, is the preferred term for the person wielding the willow, I’m a little confused about where exactly this leaves third man, but no doubt the clever types at Lord’s are working on this. I’m equally confused by the declaration from Ofcom that certain words could cause offence when spoken on TV and the radio. They include gammon, Karen, OK boomer, Remoaner and woke. Maybe I’m missing the point, but I thought such words were supposed to be damning. Meanwhile, on planet Hollywood, Nicole Kidman, explaining why she no longer has time for a social life, says: “I have my work, I have my family, I have my own inner landscape that I explore. I choose that more probably than I choose to go out partying.” I can only imagine this involves staring into space for an eternity, but I could be wrong. I must ask Gwyneth Paltrow to enlighten me next time I see her.