Blind date: ‘A man on the next table was watching a horror film’

  • 10/16/2021
  • 00:00
  • 8
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Marta on Andrew What were you hoping for? Romance, naturally. Failing that, someone I could have an interesting conversation with. First impressions? Positive, enthusiastic, chatty. What did you talk about? Postmortems, food, dogs, travelling, photography, dating, politics. Any awkward moments? Quite a few – all thanks to the guy at the nearby table, who decided to watch horror movie trailers without headphones on. Good table manners? Absolutely. Best thing about Andrew? He is very enthusiastic and easy to talk to. Would you introduce him to your friends? Sure, I don’t see why not. Describe Andrew in three words? Chatty, inquisitive, engaging. What do you think he made of you? Hopefully easy to talk to – and brave (I studied forensics and criminology at university). I didn’t have any romantic feelings for him, and towards the end of the date, I got the vibe that he didn’t think we were particularly compatible, either. Did you go on somewhere? No. And … did you kiss? No. If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be? We would have been more compatible: we didn’t have a huge amount in common, and didn’t get much beyond small talk, which I’m not a fan of. Marks out of 10? 8 – Andrew is a lovely guy and good company. However, there was no romantic spark. Would you meet again? Yes, if we ran into each other, but just as friends. Andrew on Marta What were you hoping for? My friend Sheyda to be vindicated in suggesting I did this. First impressions? She was trying to prevent either of us stepping on broken glass when the photographer’s light fell at our feet. What did you talk about? Polish blood sausage, a postmortem Marta attended as a student, and how expensive it would be to feed her dog Charlie fresh entrails every day. Any awkward moments? A man on the next table was watching a horror film loudly on his laptop. The constant screams were a tad awkward. Good table manners? Flawless! Marta even used a knife and fork to dissect her prawn bao. Best thing about Marta? Her no-nonsense approach to life. Would you introduce her to your friends? Sure, my friends are the best thing about me. Describe Marta in three words Fearless, forensic, unflappable. What do you think she made of you? I dread to think. Too timid to ask a fellow diner to turn his volume down? Did you go on somewhere? We walked to the tube, thanked each other and said goodnight. And … did you kiss? No. If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be? I’d have brought a pair of headphones for the horror film man. Marks out of 10? 7. Would you meet again? You never know, maybe we’ll bump into each other at a Thai cookery course.

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