Igrew up in a household where we all voted Conservative. I live in a constituency that has voted Tory for the past decade. And if you’d said to me a few years ago that I’d be voting for another party, or perhaps not voting at all, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here I am. Because after seeing how the Conservatives have handled this pandemic, I will never vote for anyone associated with this government. As for the Tory party: our 31-year relationship is over. Like many people, growing up I took my political cues from my dad. On 11 August last year, at 3.03pm, he passed away after a short battle against Covid, a disease that lasted a mere 11 days from when he first tested positive. He was one of the millions of shielders in the UK who were given a stark choice on “freedom day” last July: stay a prisoner in your own home or risk your life when venturing out. He was 76 and double vaccinated, with an underlying condition for which he took immunosuppressants. But he was full of life and vigour and hope. He wanted to live out his retirement safely and peacefully. And then came freedom day on 19 July. This was a politically charged decision to pretend Covid wasn’t a danger any more. My dad was as cautious as he could be. All he did was go to the shops to buy food and attend his medical appointments. Yet even that was enough to kill him. He was utterly let down by those in power, who he had trusted to make the right decisions and protect vulnerable people. Tragically, we’re living through the whole process again, as the plan B restrictions introduced to fight the Omicron variant are lifted in England – despite the fact that there are still hundreds of people dying every day. I can’t tell you how painful it is to think of other families going through the same trauma as mine, all because the same mistakes are being repeated in Westminster. Of course, any restrictions the government introduces in the future if we face new, more dangerous variants will probably be pointless. Who will listen to rules from a government that couldn’t care less about obeying the rules themselves? My dad passed away from Covid-19 on his own, without his family at his side. We barely saw him during the previous 18 months, as we did everything we could to protect each other and our communities. We missed out on every family gathering. We couldn’t see my dad when he was sick with Covid. He was so poorly when he caught the virus that I couldn’t even speak to him. When he entered hospital we couldn’t be near him or help him. And once he was in the ICU, that was it. We spent hours trying to get someone to give us updates or find a doctor with whom we could discuss treatment options. But even when someone answered the phone you could hardly hear what they were saying through all the PPE. We couldn’t say goodbye. And that will live with me for ever. Meanwhile, politicians and their advisers in 10 Downing Street were apparently breaking their own laws, regularly and obnoxiously. Every news story about yet more Downing Street parties has been devastating for those who have lost loved ones to Covid. The pandemic has been unbelievably hard on so many people. But those who stuck to the rules can at least say we did everything to protect others. That’s something some of those working in Downing Street cannot say. Boris Johnson is a disgrace and an embarrassment. To hear him brag about his handling of a pandemic that has killed more than 175,000 people in Britain is nauseating. Several parties he allegedly attended are now under police investigation, after he repeatedly insisted all guidelines were followed. Just as bad are the Tory MPs who keep him in power. The prime minister has lost all credibility. He has become a walking public health hazard who puts lives at risk. But all the Conservatives seem to care about is how he affects their electoral fortunes. It’s painful to watch them try to defend his actions; they disgrace their country every time they do so. I would love to believe that the problem is just Johnson, but the pandemic has shown that the rot runs much deeper. It goes to the heart of the Conservative party. Why did they stick with the prime minister as his government stumbled from one pandemic disaster to the next? Why did they line up to defend Dominic Cummings when he broke lockdown rules, and do the same again for Johnson? Ask yourself: who will they replace him with? Rishi Sunak, who has remained notably quiet about the prime minister’s misconduct? Sajid Javid, who accused families like mine of “cowering” from the virus? A lifetime of voting habits die hard. And I know there are many Conservatives who will dismiss this piece, as I would have done a few years ago. But the Tories have shown that they’re not interested in protecting ordinary families. They seem more like a knock-off version of Donald Trump’s Republican party than that of Winston Churchill. I urge you not to vote for them. David Garfinkel is a spokesperson for Covid-19 Bereaved Families for Justice