I was separated from my long-distance partner for more than a year during the pandemic, and we have spent time recovering our sex lives together. I have slowly realised that I have lost clitoral sensation; while I enjoy a wave of pleasure, I don’t get anywhere near the climax I used to. This is true when I am on my own, too. I had powerful orgasms before and it is a tremendous loss. I am in my early 70s, and worry that this is the end of my libido, although I feel sure it ought not to be. Do you have any advice on how I can recover sensation? Covid has left a lot of people struggling with sexual difficulties and in many cases these dysfunctions are secondary to Covid-related depression and anxiety. Seek help for a possible mood disorder. At the same time, ask an open-minded and knowledgable doctor to check your hormone levels, since weak orgasms can be related to low levels of certain hormones, especially testosterone which may need to be boosted. Don’t buy into the common misconception that ageing itself necessarily causes libido loss. You deserve great orgasms for all your many years ahead. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms. Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
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