Film The Muppet Christmas Carol (30th Anniversary) Out now You can bang on about The Italian Job all you like, but Michael Caine’s finest hour is surely playing Scrooge opposite a cast of puppets. It is hard to believe The Muppet Christmas Carol is turning 30, because it feels like it’s been around for much longer. Surely no generation of human beings had to endure the long winter months without the prospect of The Great Gonzo as Charles Dickens to see them through until the days start getting longer? White Noise Out now, and on Netflix, 30 December OK, this Don DeLillo adaptation isn’t exactly a traditional Christmas movie, but it does include Adam Driver and his on-screen family piling into a car in an array of fetching knitwear for a big, chaotic road-trip. The incident prompting the journey in question is a rapidly approaching cloud of airborne poison; insert your own joke about brussels sprouts here. The Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition marathons The Prince Charles Cinema, London, 10 & 17 December You have two chances to sign up for a life-changing night of watching more than 12 hours’ worth of the greatest fantasy saga ever written, on the big screen, back to back, in delicious 4k resolution, at London’s best cinema. There is always debate among Rings fans over whether Fellowship, Towers or Return is better, and the extended marathon experience is the best way to arrive at the correct answer: these are not three separate films, but one (incredibly long) masterpiece. Christmas Films at BFI BFI Southbank, London, from 14 December Who needs an overly complicated film season title? Certainly not the British Film Institute, which has put together a December programme entitled Christmas Films which does exactly what it says on the tin. This selection of festive treats includes deliciously heartwarming classics such as Meet Me in St Louis, alongside darker festive fare (Gremlins, anyone?). Christmas at the Movies with BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra City Halls, Glasgow, 18 December Available for £18-£33, it is worth bagging yourself tickets to the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra’s annual festive jamboree. From Disney faves to big blockbusters, and of course John Williams, master of the stirring score, your host for the afternoon will be Jamie MacDougall, with Roderick Dunk conducting the 70-odd strong symphony orchestra. Catherine Bray Rock and pop Emma Bunton & Friends 12 to 19 December; tour starts Manchester As part-owner of three consecutive Christmas No 1 singles in the shape of the Spice Girls’ immaculate late-90s ballads 2 Become 1, Too Much and Goodbye, Emma “Baby” Bunton’s yuletide credentials are solid. This razzle-dazzle five-date tour promises renditions of Christmas classics, as well a smattering of solo songs and those Spice Girls gems. It also hints at a few special guests. Rod Stewart Touring to 20 December While Sir Roderick David Stewart’s arena-sized trek around the UK is nominally in support of last year’s curiously titled The Tears of Hercules opus, its proximity to Santa’s big night out means you can also expect a smattering of songs from his star-studded, multi-platinum selling collection Merry Christmas, Baby. What better way to enjoy Silent Night than via Rod’s dulcet tones. The Nightmare Before Christmas Live Ovo Arena Wembley, London, 9 & 10 December Tim Burton’s 1993 stop-motion musical festive favourite is brought to life via this cine-concert production featuring Danny Elfman (the original singing voice of Jack Skellington, and writer of all the film’s songs) and the singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers (as Sally) performing in sync with the film. The BBC Concert Orchestra will also be on hand to make sure every bit of the creepy drama is ramped up. Christmas Soul Night Koko, London, 18 December The British soul great Mica Paris headlines this one-off charity event at London’s recently refurbished Koko, ably supported by enduring dance diva Alison Limerick (of 1990 house classic Where Love Lives fame) and the 1998 Eurovision runner-up Imaani. If for some reason that’s not enough vocal prowess, they will also be backed by the rousing, full-of-Christmas-cheer London Soul Choir. Kate Rusby 9 to 21 December; tour starts Bath For some, the Yorkshire-born folk singer Rusby is as much a part of Christmas as a booze-sozzled game of Pictionary. Each year she embarks on a December tour, performing a mix of reworked hymns, British folk classics and well-known carols from her five Christmas albums. Michael Cragg Classical The Sixteen at Christmas Various venues, to 21 December In what has become one of the musical staples of the season, Harry Christophers and his singers regularly come up with programmes that mix the familiar with the freshly minted. This year’s selection ranges from renaissance masterpieces by Palestrina and Lassus to new settings by Reena Esmail and Oliver Tarney, alongside traditional favourite carols. Dunedin Consort Messiah St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow, 14 December; St Mary’s RC Church, Lanark, 15 December; Queen’s Hall, Edinburgh, 16 December Another December regular, the Dunedin Consort’s performances of Handel’s perennially popular oratorio have established a reputation as being among the most stylish and accomplished to be found anywhere in the country at this time of year. As usual, John Butt is the conductor; his approach uses a minimum of singers, and is designed to recreate what would have been usual in Handel’s time. The Magic Flute Royal Opera House, London, 16 December to 28 January David McVicar’s production will be 20 years old next year, but it has worn very well, and by skilfully balancing the elements of pantomime with the more serious Enlightenment ideas behind Mozart’s Singspiel, it makes an ideal Christmas show for the Royal Opera. The six-week run is double cast, though Maxim Emelyanychev conducts nearly all the performances; Anna Prohaska and Jacquelyn Stucker are the Paminas, Filipe Manu and Long Long the Taminos, while René Pape and Brindley Sherratt take turns in pontificating as Sarastro. Andrew Clements Jazz Hackney Colliery Band’s Christmas Cracker Blues Kitchen, Manchester, 15 December The sprawling brass ensemble Hackney Colliery Band have spent the last decade breathing fresh life into jazz standards and chart hits, producing complex arrangements that veer from hip-swinging funk to traditional big-band bombast. For this festive instalment of their residency at Manchester’s Blues Kitchen, expect dancefloor-focused covers of tracks by the likes of Blackstreet and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Liane Carroll’s Cold Turkey Ronnie Scott’s, London, 26 and 27 December A staple at London’s best-known jazz club, singer Liane Carroll’s Cold Turkey concerts are the perfect antidote to festive overindulgences. Accompanied by a bass and drums duo, with Carroll behind the keys, the shows promise a selection of Christmas classics such as the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York, as well as deep-swinging jazz standards and intimate ballads – all bolstered by Carroll’s soulful vocals. Swing Into Christmas Touring to 28 December Featuring the big band sound of the 28-piece Down for the Count Orchestra, this tour promises luscious renditions of festive jazz standards from greats including Nat King Cole, Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald. Expect fireside classics such as Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and I’ve Got You Under My Skin from Oxford to Edinburgh, with the final date at London’s Cadogan Hall promising a full house and impeccable acoustics. Ammar Kalia Dance Curious Winter Vogue Ball Dance City, Newcastle upon Tyne, 17 December A seasonal twist on a drag ball, organised by the LGBTQ+ charity Curious Arts, with professional vogue houses taking to the catwalk. You can take part in a vogueing workshop the day before to finesse your moves with dancer Jaii Andrew, and there’s also a family-friendly version of the party on Sunday afternoon, for fabulous two- to seven-year-olds and their grownups. Birmingham Royal Ballet: The Nutcracker Royal Albert Hall, London, 28 to 31 December A big festive feast of a ballet, with Tchaikovsky’s magical music filling the Albert Hall (played live by the Royal Ballet Sinfonia). This production has narration from Simon Callow and projections by the acclaimed 59 Productions, as it follows the story of Clara and her enchanted Nutcracker doll on a wintry adventure into a land of snowflakes and the Sugar Plum Fairy. Lyndsey Winship Art The Legend of King Arthur: A Pre-Raphaelite Love Story William Morris Gallery, London, to 22 January Arthurian mythology became an ornate fantasy of chaste ideals and tricky love triangles in the hands of the Victorian pre-Raphaelite brotherhood. This show boasts outstanding examples of the many paintings of otherworldly, long-maned damsels and morally conflicted knights created by artists such as John William Waterhouse and Dante Gabriel Rosetti, as well as two of the huge holy grail tapestries that Edward Burne-Jones designed for Morris & Co. Visions of Ancient Egypt Sainsbury Centre, Norwich, to New Year’s Day While this exhibition has its share of ancient stone sphinxes, pharaohs and mummified remains, it casts a wide trans-historical net. How Egypt’s artefacts and “stars” like Cleopatra or Tutankhamun have been filtered through a western gaze is the subject here, from the Roman empire to Napoleon, 18th-century celebrity portraitists to Hollywood directors. Contemporary artists round out the post-colonial reappraisal. Long Live the Christmas Tree! Harewood House, Leeds, to 2 January UK-wide artists and makers have given this 18th-century pile’s grand interiors up-to-the-minute festive decor with an emphasis on sustainability. From the china room to the state bedroom, it includes trees fashioned from recycled glass and wood, or with bee friendliness in mind, and foraged antlers. Winter solstice is explored in a poetic film and Opera North has collaborated on a seasonal sound-work. MK Čiurlionis: Between Worlds Dulwich Picture Gallery, London, to 12 March While Lithuania was under Russian rule in the early 1900s, the young composer and painter MK Čiurlionis spent five years in a fever-dream of non-stop creativity that channelled his country’s threatened past. Here, 100 luminous fantasies are conjured with pastels on small sheets of cheap paper: giants and angels, dark forests, fallen cities, immense seas and magic lakes that draw on music, folklore and pre-Christian beliefs. Paint Like the Swallow Sings Calypso Kettle’s Yard, Cambridge, to 19 February Paul Dash, Errol Lloyd and John Lyons, three leading lights of the Caribbean Artists Movement kickstarted in 1960s London, have offset their own paintings exploring carnival, its knotty roots and symbolism, with its representations throughout global art history. From medieval processions to masked balls, Dürer and Bruegel to Hepworth and Frankenthaler, a complex cross-cultural picture emerges in which revels and protest entwine. Skye Sherwin Theatre Goldilocks/Elen Benfelen Sherman theatre, Cardiff, to New Year’s Eve A cast of three actor-musicians weave a festive tale in Elgan Rhys’s Welsh adaptation of Goldilocks. Fed up with her Nain’s strict rules, Goldie just wants to be free, so she sets off on an epic adventure. See it in its original Welsh as Elen Benfelen, or as Goldilocks for English-language performances, at under £40 for a family of four. Cracked: Snow White … With Extra Bite Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London, to 6 January Jam-packed with gags – and other toys – this year’s LGBTQ+ adult panto at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern is a grownup retelling of Snow White. Following in the footsteps of previous pantos, Slipped, Rubbed, Goosed and the Offie-nominated Pricked, this story of a self-obsessed princess and her evil queen promises to be joyously queer and outrageously fun. Rapunzel Watermill theatre, Newbury, to New Year’s Day Let your hair down with this sparkling production of Rapunzel, originally staged by madcap Kneehigh Theatre. The Watermill’s production promises a lively show fizzing with music and magic, as the classic tale by the Brothers Grimm is given a fresh twist. To entice families in the lazy days between Christmas and the new year, the theatre is putting on pyjama performances, encouraging everyone to come in their dressing gowns and have a hot chocolate in the interval. Dolly Parton’s Smoky Mountain Christmas Carol Queen Elizabeth Hall, London, Thur to 8 January If you’ve ever thought Dickens’s classic was missing a Tennessee twist, Dolly Parton has you covered. In a brilliantly bizarre Christmas collaboration, the queen of country has written the music and lyrics for this reimagining of A Christmas Carol, moving miserly Scrooge and his trio of ghosts from Victorian London to the rural mountains of 1930s Tennessee. Irresistible, surely? Red Riding Hood Citizens theatre, Glasgow, 9 to 23 December As Red embarks on a mission to defeat the big bad wolf, this promises to be a whirlwind adventure for the whole family. Christmas has been banned in Red’s town, and she’s determined to get it back. With a relaxed performance on 20 December, this family show combines the magic of the original story as good triumphs over evil, with a healthy dose of playful twists and silly songs along the way. Kate Wyver Comedy A Christmas Carol-ish Soho theatre, London, 6 to 23 December Nick Mohammed is one of the stalwart British comics to have recently experienced a well-earned career boost – including a handful of Emmy nods – thanks to the success of transatlantic comedy-drama Ted Lasso. Now, however, he’s returning to his longtime alter ego, the bumbling and delusional Mr Swallow, who has taken it upon himself to stage what will inevitably be a weird and wonderfully shonky version of the Dickens classic. Live at Christmas Rose Theatre, Kingston, 9 December; Theatre Royal, Brighton, 12 December; Town Hall, Birmingham, 13 December; Cheltenham Town Hall, 14 December; Cambridge Corn Exchange, 15 December; The Forum, Bath, 16 December; Great Hall, Exeter, 21 December There may not be anything festive about this bumper touring show, but a lineup this cracking is a treat whatever the season. Misanthropic headliner Dylan Moran provides a refreshing break from enforced Christmas jollity, while the rotating cast of supporting comics includes Isy Suttie, Lou Sanders, the wickedly funny Rosie Jones, much-hyped newcomer Celya AB and the most relatable man on radio, John Robins. Rachel Aroesti