The prosecution: Michael Ama always tries to put the dishwasher on – even for three plates and a few forks and breakfast bowls There aren’t many things in life that grind my gears – just ask my wife, Audrey – but I cannot abide wastefulness and laziness. My daughter Ama is a blessing, but she can be very lazy and it pains me to see it. She’s in her final year of sixth form and lives with Audrey and I. She helps out with chores around the house, but is always cutting corners. When it’s her turn to do the washing up she will say: “OK, but we have the dishwasher.” Audrey and I will only use the dishwasher when we have guests, or lots of dirty dishes. When it’s just the three of us, we tend to do the washing up by hand. Ama, however, always tries to use the dishwasher. I don’t believe three plates, a few forks and some breakfast bowls is a good enough reason to put it on. Think about how much water that is being used. A dishwasher should be full or stay off. Ama says we can let the plates build up every two days, then put it on, which I don’t mind as much. But I still don’t like the idea of dirty cutlery inside it for days until it becomes full. It’s unhygienic and lazy. I’d rather we wash things by hand as much as possible. But Ama is 18 now and thinks she knows best. She says: “Dad, studies show it’s better to put a dishwasher on once a day, blah blah.” I think she just can’t be bothered to roll up her sleeves and get scrubbing. We’ve even caught Ama putting the dishwasher on with only two plates in it. In my day, growing up in Nigeria, we washed everything by hand. We didn’t rely on machines because we didn’t have them. When I moved to London, I lived in a shared house without a dishwasher and got accustomed to washing by hand. I’ve only lived in a home with a dishwasher for 10 years. Maybe I’m not used to it and never will be. But one thing I do know is that the energy bills are rising, so I’m more conscious than ever of wasting water and electricity. Ama should heed my advice because when she goes out into the world on her own and has to pay her own bills, she’ll realise how expensive everything is. The defence: Ama Using the dishwasher is more economical than washing up – and helps the environment too Dad loves to make out he’s Mr Economical when it comes to the dishwasher, but a quick Google shows he’s in the wrong. I’ve read that putting the dishwasher on once a day rather than washing everything by hand is much better for saving money and helping the environment. I’ve shown him the articles: they say filling up a sink twice a day uses more power and costs more than running a dishwasher once a day. This is because it takes the dishwasher less time to heat up water than running a tap, and we always use hot, soapy water to wash up. But he won’t listen. He says: “Back in my day we scrubbed everything. You need to roll up your sleeves and do it.” We only use the dishwasher if we have had guests over or have used really big pots and pans. Before school I have to wash my stuff up, then most evenings I scrub the plates again. But if we just stacked the dishwasher after every meal and put it on once a day, it would be better. Washing up is much more time-consuming than putting everything in a dishwasher. I don’t get why we can’t use it if we have it. I think Dad enjoys seeing me struggle doing the washing up because he never had a dishwasher growing up. But I shouldn’t have to suffer just because my parents did. Sometimes I’ll put the dishwasher on when he’s not home and there are only a few plates. I know it will get me in trouble but I don’t care. I’m lucky in that mum and dad don’t ask me to do loads of chores. I’m an only child and they know I have to get on with exams and homework. After mum has cooked dinner, I’ll sometimes clear the table and help with the plates – if they let me put everything in the dishwasher. When they don’t, it makes me reluctant to help, because washing by hand takes so long. I also don’t like the effect it has on my hands and nails as we hardly ever have rubber gloves around. Dad needs to listen to my suggestions about the dishwasher because they make perfect sense. We should switch it on more – it will save us all time and money. The jury of Guardian readers Should Ama stop using the dishwasher so much? Ama’s arguments make sense: they should use the dishwasher more. I feel this is more about Michael wanting to see Ama doing chores. Perhaps she could help with something else? Lisa, 23 As a parent of teenagers (now grown up) I remember their indolence and egocentrism during that period. It’s good for them to pull their weight. Our kids wasted a lot of electricity and water. My wife and I dealt with it by refusing to use the dishwasher except in emergencies, like after a party. Chris, 70 It’s quick, efficient and economical to use the dishwasher daily with three people in the house. It’s understandable that Michael sees this a luxury as it’s relatively new to him, while washing up by hand seems daft to Ama. Obviously, using the dishwasher for a couple of plates is wrong, so some form of compromise is needed. Sarah, 63 I am with Ama. A dishwasher is hardly the height of luxury, and there are other ways to teach your child to be economical. Letting the machine fill up and then running it saves water and electricity. Dad needs to see that times have moved on. Baram, 56 It’s true that dishwashers are more economical, but only when they’re full. Using it just for a couple plates is a waste of resources, but Michael could also concede to filling it up after each meal and then running it at night. Sudevi, 34 Now you be the judge In our online poll below, tell us: should Ama wash up by hand more often?