Name: Churchill Age: He made his television debut in 1996, so that would make him 27. Or 189. Eh? Dog years. Times seven, remember? So this is about a dog, not the wartime leader? Yes, although he was obviously named after that Churchill. This Churchill is a British bulldog, with all the associated spirit. He is also fond of skateboarding … Oh no … “Oh yes!” I think I know which dog you are talking about, the annoying one on the insurance company adverts? “Oh yes!” He was originally a nodding dog voiced by the comedian and angler Bob Mortimer. Is Churchill still a nodding toy? Churchill has moved with the times – and was CGI-generated in 2019. And now? He may have reached the end of the road. Oh no! Oh yes. Put down? Oh no! More like retired. Churchill may be axed soon due to his flat face. But he’s a bulldog and they have flat faces. Peta, the animal rights group, have written to the insurance group Direct Line, which owns the Churchill brand, pointing out “mounting evidence that brachycephalic dogs suffer from painful and even fatal health conditions.” Flat-faced dogs are very popular though, aren’t they? They certainly are. Since 2000, ownership of pugs has rocketed by 601%, going up 488% for English bulldogs such as “Churchie” and 17,198% for French bulldogs. Hmm, a coincidental period? No one is saying that it is all because of Churchill – celebrities and influencers who have loved these breeds in recent years must take some of the blame. I am looking at you, David Beckham. But Churchill also does pet insurance, so that might not sit well. I can see that. If he does go, it won’t be the first time a dog has been axed from a TV advert. In 2010, John Lewis got into hot water and had to remove a scene from its Christmas advert that showed a dog left out in the snow. John Lewis! I know! Morrisons faced criticism in 2012 for a Christmas advert that featured a boy feeding Christmas pudding to a dog under the table. What’s wrong with that? Some charities and vets warned that raisins and sultanas are potentially harmful to pets. What about the PG Tips chimps? That was anthropomorphism taken to a whole new level – and was stopped in 2003, quite rightly. Those were great ads, though, But no one’s going to miss Churchill. You might be surprised – some sections of the media are framing this as wokeness gone mad. Do say: “Hello, is that the Bone Idle Retirement Home for canine advertising heroes?” Don’t say: “Andrex puppies, you’re next!”