Jimmy Kimmel roasts Will Smith and the Academy in Oscars monologue

  • 3/12/2023
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Last year’s Oscars were the most dramatic in recent memory, and the fallout is still being felt. Only a week ago, Chris Rock’s live comedy special – the first time he spoke at length about the moment Will Smith slapped him onstage – broke records for Netflix. Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel mentioned the incident in his trailer for this year’s show, as well as teeing up the telecast earlier this week. So: will the 95th Academy Awards be as overshadowed by the slap as the 94th? “Give me a second, I’ll adjust my danger zone here,” was Jimmy Kimmel’s first line. After a riff about diversity, Kimmel added: “Five Irish actors are nominated tonight, which means the chances of another fight on stage went way up.” Warming to the theme, he promised the audience: “We want you to have fun, we want you to be safe, and most importantly, we want me to be safe. If anyone commits an act of violence anytime during this show, you will be presented the Oscar for Best Actor and be permitted to give an 18-minute long speech.” Kimmel added that the Oscars now has a crisis management team, and wondered what they might do in the event of violence, suggesting: “Just do what you did last year – nothing. Sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug.” He finished by saying that if someone felt tempted to get onstage and slap him, they would have the celebrity audience to contend with. “You’re going to have to get through the heavyweight champ, Adonis Creed, you’re going to have to battle with Michelle Yeoh before you get to me … you’re going to have to tangle with Spider-Man, you’re going to have to tangle with Fabelman, and then you’re going to have to go through my right-hand man Guillermo if you want to get up to this stage.” The camera cut away from director Guillermo del Toro to “the other Guillermo”, a hefty bouncer. “I know he’s cute, but if you even so much as wave at me he’ll beat the Lydia Tár out of you,” Kimmel joked, before concluding his monologue and starting the ceremony. It wasn’t the end of the Smith gags. As he invited more guests to the stage Kimmel said: “Hopefully it goes off without a hitch. Or without Hitch. Put your hands together and then keep them to yourself for Riz Ahmed and Questlove”

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