Up early or a lie in? Oh God, I fall asleep at 2am, so your lie-in is probably my up early. The only reason I’m up at 6am is because of my old lady bladder – or if the dog has timed his poos wrong. First thing you do? I’m touring at the moment, so I spend the first few minutes figuring out exactly where I am. It’s always a nice hotel, luckily, so how bad can it be? Sundays growing up? I was a proper goody two shoes. I’d finish my homework to get some colouring-in done. Or, in later years, continue choreographing a dance to Five Star’s latest classic. What’s for breakfast? We used to have a rule on tour that you could have a pudding breakfast on a Sunday. So, French toast or pancakes if you’ve had fruit and eggs all week. The other rule is, if you can see the sea, you can have chips. Sunday best or a onesie? Sunday is a working day so always Sunday best. And then braless Mondays. You know, like the band. What’s for lunch? If I’m home, it’s lunch at a local pub. If I’m on tour, I have brunch, then food backstage before the show. When I first started standup I couldn’t eat for four hours before a show. Now I can be picking Nando’s out of my teeth as I announce myself on. Sunday laughs? I hope so. I’ll be providing them, of course, though there is much fun to be had backstage between the pacing and the diarrhoea. Sunday salad or biscuits? Biscuits. The weekend is no place for salad. Monday is for salad: new beginnings, hope, a big bag of lettuce. Sunday sensations? The smell of diesel for the drive home at the end of a busy week and the feel of my dog’s face when I get in. I hope he knows hard kisses mean love. What are your bedtime rituals? Cat meds, Dog meds, our meds and bed. We’re all getting on a bit. End of weekend dread? Monday is our Saturday, so no dread. Having different days off to the majority of people is great in so many ways. And working Saturdays means you never have to go to a wedding.