The first song I remember hearing I remember my mum singing along to You Belong to Me by Jo Stafford. She’d have the radio on doing the housework and would sing along to the classics from the Great American Songbook, like Bei Mir Bist Du Schön by the Andrew Sisters, which I always thought was called My Beer Mr Shane. Phonetically, it’s quite an intelligent mistake. The song I secretly like, but tell everyone I hate I don’t really have guilty pleasures. If I like a song, I can defend it, every time. I’m no stranger to shame, but I wouldn’t liken it to music. The first single I bought I bought Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley & His Comets on 78 with my cousins, Frankie and Sid, who lived across town, so we each part-owned it. The first plastic 45 I bought was Diana by Paul Anka, from Oldfield Electrics in Higher Broughton, Salford. The song I inexplicably know every lyric to Stardust, written by Hoagy Carmichael, recorded by many people – my favourite version is by Nat King Cole. It was also covered by doo-wop groups like Billy Ward and His Dominoes. It’s inexplicable because, if you read the lyrics, it doesn’t have a hookline, a chorus or read like a song; it reads like a poem. It’s the only song I can think of that includes the word “reverie”, which is obviously a very important word to anyone who writes poetry. The song I can no longer listen to Strange Fruit by Billie Holiday. It goes for any protest song. If it’s effective, any song that alerts you to some kind of injustice, you’ve only got to hear once. To revisit such misery is kind of sick. The best song to play at a party Something northern soul – Turnin’ My Heartbeat Up by the MVPs or You Can’t Have Your Cake by Lela Martin are terrific floor-fillers. If it’s more of a bacchanalian free-for-all, I would go for Angelina by Louis Prima and Keely Smith. The song I wish I’d written White Christmas. It’d be a payout on an annual basis. The song that changed my life All Shook Up by Elvis Presley. I first discovered it on a fairground in Salford. It was like nothing else I’d heard. The thrill of Elvis as a whole package has never gone away. The song that gets me up in the morning Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus. The song I want played at my funeral I don’t want to think about it, but if I have to, Peace in the Valley by Elvis. John Cooper Clarke is currently on tour. See johncooperclarke.com