Delaying heating the house, showering every two or three days, weighing up selling cherished items, cancelling holidays – these are some of the sacrifices parents in the UK are making in their efforts to cope with the cost of living crisis. About 19% of households with children, an estimated 1.5 million, are in serious financial difficulties, according to analysis of abrdn’s financial fairness tracker by the charity Action for Children. This figure compares with 13% of households without children. The charity has called the situation a “cost of children crisis” and is urging the government to provide targeted support for struggling parents, such as increasing social security levels in line with inflation and reforming cost of living payments to take family size into account. With autumn half-term this week, food and heating costs are escalating as children spend more time at home. “What we know from parents is they do everything they can to shield their children from the financial pressures they’re under, and that puts a huge strain on parents,” said Action for Children’s head of policy, Joe Lane. Parents who spoke to the Guardian said they were wringing every penny from household budgets to make sure children did not go without. Jo, 52, a school business administrator in Suffolk with a 14-year-old son, said she was showering only every two or three days to save on energy costs. “We used to do a standup wash at the sink [in the 70s], I can do that. But it just feels like we’re going backwards” as a society, she said. For half-term, Jo has taken her son to a local nature reserve, and ate lunch at home beforehand, rather than going on holiday farther afield. She said the soles of her husband’s trainers were worn through, and that the family was having to dip into savings to scrape by. “We just have no slack in our finances,” she said, noting that direct debits went out straight after payday, so the family was in overdraft and left “scrimping” for three and a half weeks every month Alexander, 47, a teacher in Dorset who has two children aged 13 and 11, said: “Everything’s more expensive in the holidays. When I go to Lidl for quite a big shop, I’m weighing up the cost of beans, buying their own brand, everything.” Despite finances being tight, Alexander, whose children live with his ex-partner, was looking forward to them coming to stay during half-term. Before they arrived, one of his teeth fell out while he was eating breakfast. He was quoted £90 to see a workplace plan dentist, but he only had £50 left until he hit the overdraft limit. The tooth would have to wait until after payday. Making sure his children had a decent half-term came first. Alexander bought a campervan during lockdown, and sometimes takes the children off to campsites for a relatively low-cost holiday “that feels like a bit of an adventure”, but after his mortgage payments went up by £400 a month, he’s weighing up selling it. He’s also considering selling two guitars of sentimental value, one bought on his 21st birthday and another after his grandmother died. “You’d think if you’re working in education, there’d be enough of a wage to be able to afford to live in the town you teach in,” Alexander said. But “we’re stuck in this spiral”. Food banks have reported soaring demand in recent years during school holidays, when children are unable to access free school meals, for which about 23.8% of pupils in England are eligible. More than a million children experienced destitution last year, according to a recent Joseph Rowntree Foundation study. Ann, 40, a civil servant in Essex with five children aged between two and 14, said her weekly food bill had climbed from £85 to £130 recently, and half-term meant spending £56 a day on nursery costs and £120 a child for holiday camp. She’s also noticed budget food items soaring in price. “I mean, [Heinz] tomato ketchup, we can’t even look at,” she said. She and her husband start planning for the summer holidays in January. “Everything is just squeezing. It’s getting harder and harder to manage,” she said. Juggling childcare and work exerts a cost on Ann’s marriage. “We don’t have the time to have holiday leave together,” she said. “We’ve got a lovely, strong relationship, and we’d love to spend more time together, but it’s what we have to do to survive.” For Alex, 41, a music tutor in Hampshire and single parent to an 11-year-old and an autistic 13-year-old with significant caring needs, “it’s really hard to be a good parent” given the financial pressure. She waits until the children are in bed then turns the heating off, and is facing a “very scary” rise in mortgage payments in 2024. School holidays mean she must stay at home to care for her daughter, losing income. “The cost of everything rising has just added to what was already a really stressful existence,” she said. “My mental health is in tatters.”