Player of the week It would have been hard to script it any better. After missing five months with a hamstring injury, Kevin De Bruyne came off the bench against Newcastle to turn a 2-1 defeat into a 3-2 victory, providing a goal and an assist. Watching City in 2024 without De Bruyne is like watching golf in 2006 without Tiger Woods. It’s De Bruyne who turns Pep Guardiola’s robotic, winning machine into a spectacle. He injects a sense of chaos and disorder into Guardiola’s carefully conducted symphony. We’ve reached that point of the year when City typically enter their freight-train mode, ripping off a run a results that leaves everyone around them in their dust. Eighteen wins in a row. Twenty-odd matches unbeaten. Another record set. Another title lifted. After a wobbly series of performances and results over the past month, though, it looked like City might struggle to hit that kind of form this season. But De Bruyne’s return changes the calculus. His goal was typical De Bruyne: driving through the middle of the pitch and burying an effort from outside the box. His assist to tee-up Oscar Bobb’s winner was the kind that only a handful of players in the world can see or execute. The assist was De Bruyne’s 104th in the Premier League, moving him into a tie with Wayne Rooney for third in the competition’s all-time standings. Pep Guardiola still has Erling Haaland to reintroduce to his team when the forward returns from a foot injury. But it’s the return of De Bruyne – looking as sharp as ever – that has tilted the title race towards City. Goal of the week Let’s stick with City. This is why Guardiola’s team are gunning for four titles in a row: tied up at 2-2, they’re capable of cranking things to a gear that no one in the league can live with. Hoo boy. It starts with De Bruyne’s ball. The City midfielder is always thinking one or two steps ahead. De Bruyne sees every possible pass, and with his blend of smarts and technique, every pass is possible. But there’s still plenty for Bobb to do once it arrives. He catches the ball in stride, and in two sudden jolts, rounds the keeper and rolls the ball into an empty net. Moments define seasons; those four touches are likely to define this one. The Nathan Fielder wince-inducing performance of the week Did anyone catch the end of The Curse? The Safdie-Fielder partnership was squirm-inducing TV at its finest. Unless, of course, you’re watching André Onana v corners. Goalkeepers are supposed to do more than save shots or help build out from the back. There’s supposed to be some kind of presence and command. The best of the best inspire confidence throughout the team. No matter what, we know we’ve got Alisson or Ederson or Vicario at the back. Onana sits at the opposite end of the Goalkeeper Confidence Index. His underlying figures this season remain encouraging, but there’s just a sense about his general way of doing things that another clanger is coming: his starting position is off; he whiffs on shots that he should save; he bobbles routine efforts; his sits, frozen to his goalline, rather than looking to engage and attack the ball; his distribution has been wayward. That lack of confidence seeps throughout United’s team in open play. But it shows up most at set pieces. There Onana stands, rooted to his line, as if set pieces bring actual death and terror. United have conceded an average of 6.2 corners a game, the third-highest figure in the league. For other teams, that figure wouldn’t be a huge concern. They have the set-up, goalkeeper and defenders to deal with a high volume of corners. United do not. They also concede the fourth-highest number of shots from corners a game. Top goalkeepers command their area with a sort of macho arrogance. Even if they whiff on the ball, they know they’ll most likely be bailed out by a refereeing decision. Perhaps Onana has been scared off by his week one blunder against Wolves. Perhaps it’s a United coaching decision – David de Gea was criticized last year for taking up a similar position at set-pieces. Opponents have caught on. There’s nothing fancy about their plan of attack. They’re dropping the ball on to the penalty spot over and over again, daring Onana to come and claim it. Corners are typically a chess match between the taker and goalkeeper. The delivery has to be sharp and accurate: not so close that the keeper can come and claim it; not so far away that any potential chance is too far from goal. Onana’s positioning tips the odds in the attacking side’s favor. They’re able to plop the ball into the six-yard box without fear of the one player capable of using his hands coming to get in the way. Those attacking players waiting in the box for the delivery can charge downhill knowing that any form of contact from four yards out has a decent chance of flying past the United goalkeeper. “It’s not as if he has the reactions to save it it anyway,” former United goalkeeper Ben Foster said this week. And yet United’s keeper and coaching staff have not adapted. They’re reliant on defenders to deal with every ball into the box and the second balls that flow from that first point of contact. When a corner passes and the camera zooms in, you can almost see United’s entire squad pleading “can you guys just take it easy, once, and knock the next one short?”. No. No, they will not. It’s a wonder that United have only conceded five efforts from corners all season – Tottenham could have scored another two in Sunday’s 2-2 draw. Set pieces more broadly continue to be a problem. United have conceded 0.33 goals from set pieces per 90 in the Premier League this season, the 16th worst mark in the league. And that doesn’t include a couple of Champions League howlers. Onana has had some solid performances this season. But it’s hard to evaluate his first six months at the club and come to the conclusion that he’s anything but a glaring net-minus. Social media blunder of the week Ahh, you know that feeling. There’s nothing like the build-up to a big game. The excitement. The nerves. The fear that you’ve forgotten your game-specific NFT. PR blunder of the week Not to be outdone online, Chelsea brought the ignominy of the #ModernGame to the real world: Nothing to see here, just a group of actors standing up mid-game to read a novel and brush their teeth to promote the tragilicious new movie Argylle, backed and financed by members of Chelsea’s ownership group. And we thought Todd Boehly had gone quiet. The Adam Driver award for best performance in a turgid movie On the pitch at Stamford Bridge, Cole Palmer was once again the difference-maker for Chelsea, scoring the only goal in a 1-0 win over Fulham. Over his past five league games, Palmer has four goals and two assists. In that span, only four players have posted a stronger xGChain than Palmer, a measure of a player’s creative impact. Everything that’s right and good about Chelsea these days flows through Palmer. But Mauricio Pochettino’s side still spend long chunks of games looking stilted and arrhythmic, like a collection of individual parts that cannot be crafted into a coherent team. Missed opportunity of the week Unai Emery will feel frustrated that Aston Villa came away with only a point from their trip to Goodison Park after a goalless draw. The fighting Sean Dyches made life tough for Villa in a drab game. Villa had the majority of the ball, but failed to craft many chances; Everton were often ponderous with the ball but had the better of the openings. Emery’s team remain in third place, level on points with Man City in second, though City have a game in hand and a superior goal difference. But the Villa manager will be (slightly) concerned about the team’s away record this season. Villa have the best home record in the league – nine wins and one draw – but have struggled on the road, winning four, drawing three and losing four. The performance away at Everton was indicative of their problems on the road this season. At home, Villa play with a sense of control and assurance. They work the ball slickly. Away from home, things are more frenetic. Their ‘pace to goal’ ranks the fifth slowest when at home this season, according to Statsbomb. Away from home, they move the ball at the sixth quickest speed. It makes sense. At Villa Park, they rely on a stable midfield base moving the ball slowly against defenses that sit in a deep block, before allowing the team’s front-four to explode in quick combinations in the final third. Away from home, opponents are more liable to be on the front foot, and so Emery looks to exploit his team’s pace by clipping the ball in behind and letting Ollie Watkins, Leon Bailey and Moussa Diaby go to work. On paper, it’s a smart strategy. But it hasn’t been as effective in practice. Emery tried to switch it up against Everton, but it was all too labored. In seeking more control, Emery was rewarded with passivity from his players, with Villa too often bypassing the midfield to try to hit their difference-makers up front after fussing around with the ball at the back. If Villa are to maintain a spot in the top four or hang around in the title race, Emery must find a compromise solution away from home that channels his forwards’ energy while maintaining the rhythm between the lines that has made his side so impressive at home.
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