We live in a world where Manchester United, after 21 games of a serious Premier League season, have scored the same number of goals as Luton Town (24). Fewer than Brentford, Fulham and Bournemouth. So naturally, Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s first big move – according to latest rumours – will be to revamp the United, er, defence and ship off Harry Maguire, Victor Lindelöf, Raphaël Varane and Jonny Evans in one fell swoop. The cavalry of defenders supposedly coming in replacing them include Everton starlet Jarrad Branthwaite, Ineos-owned Nice best centre back (obviously) Jean-Clair Todibo and (even more obviously) the former Erik ten Hag Ajax disciple Matthijs de Ligt. The Galatasaray full-back Sacha Boey is also said to have attracted United’s attention. So that’s all completely normal and feasible and don’t worry about the four main forwards who have scored eight goals between them all season. Across town and Manchester City have been told they may now need to shell out a whopping €150m (£129m) on Bayer Leverkusen wunderkind Florian Wirtz with Real Madrid and Bayern Munich also keen on the 20-year-old, who has been sensational under Xabi Alonso this season. In a more realistic world, Tottenham are in talks to sign the Norwegian winger Antonio Nusa from Club Brugge and loan him straight back, while Ivan Perisic is about to complete a heartwarming move to home town team Hajduk Split. Thanks for the wing-back memories under Conte, Ivo. Elsewhere, Fulham are bidding in the region of £30m for the Fluminense star André Trindade (or just André to his friends) who is also on Liverpool’s wishlist. And Newcastle might have to consider selling Joelinton, yes the Joelinton, with his contract running down in 18 months and the club in fear of breaching financial rules. Javier Manquillo is definitely leaving Tyneside, having agreed to reunite with Rafa Benítez at Celta Vigo. And finally, in the least surprising news of the days, the big-hitters of the Saudi Pro League are gearing up their engines for another Mohamed Salah summer swoop. That’s very exciting news for Ajax this time next year.