Name: Goldendoodle. Age: The first goldendoodle is thought to have been bred by Monica Dickens, the great-granddaughter of Charles, in 1969. Our mutual (four-legged) friend? Stop that. A dog, I’m guessing? As opposed to an absent-minded scribble with a metallic pen … yes, a goldendoodle is a dog. Created by breeding a golden retriever with a poodle. AKA a Groodle. Not to be confused with Dougal. Who’s Dougal? Google him; he’s a skye terrier from The Magic Roundabout and not important here. And pass notes is interested in the goldendoodle/groodle because? It is the nation’s most sought-after dog. Not the labradoodle? Nope. It’s down at No 6. Still popular, mind. Cavapoo? Currently seventh and now beaten by the maltipoo at No 3. What is this chart, anyway – top of the pups? Pretty much. The data comes from studying the sales and adverts on the Pets4Homes website, the UK’s largest online pet marketplace. Last year, there were 995 potential buyers for every goldendoodle advertised. Can’t argue with that. And what it is about goldendoodles that makes them so popular? Well, their coats are more hypoallergenic than other breeds, which mean they are easy to care for, and they have an easy-going temperament. Axel Lagercrantz, the chief executive of Pets4Homes, said: “After the baby boom of the pandemic, many homes are searching for dogs that will go well with their new young family.” Best not go for an American XL bully then. You can’t; they’re banned. I wonder if that’s why the doberman is at No 2, with 795 views per listing … Anyway, back to goldendoodles – Adele could also be a factor. Is Adele a goldendoodle? She’s a pop star. Oh, the Adele! She has a pair of goldendoodles, Freddie and Bob. They are, she says, a “spark of joy”. Then there’s Brodie … Ian Broudie of the Lightning Seeds? No, Brodie is a goldendoodle, with 13 million combined followers on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. Brodie’s human, Cliff Brush Jr, is said to have made more than a million dollars last year from Brodie’s viral videos and brand endorsements. I’m getting confused about who is a human and who’s a goldendoodle. Funny you should say that; another viral goldendoodle, named Sunny, is also confused and thinks he is a human; he stands on two legs. Oh my God, that is soooo cute. I want one! How much? Goldendoodles now sell for up to £1,600, which might sound like a lot, but it is less than they cost during the pandemic. Do say: “A goldendoodle is for life, not just for TikTok.” Don’t say: “A return of a million dollars a year, you say, on an initial investment of £1,600 … I’ll take the whole damn litter!”