West Ham United v Manchester City. It’s kicked off at the London Stadium. Barry Glendenning is all over it. Thanks for reading this Clockwatch. MATCH REPORT: Brentford 3-1 Southampton. Ivan Toney, watching on before departing for Al-Ahli, saw his old team-mates miss him not one jot. MATCH REPORT: Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers. “Forest can be gratified to be undefeated and playing with momentum, but Nuno will expect a greater conversion rate considering the attacking quality at his disposal,” writes Peter Lansley at the City Ground. MATCH REPORT: Ipswich Town 1-1 Fulham. “The conclusion from a hard-fought, helter-skelter draw in which Ipswich were often the better team is that they have the talent and spirit to stay up,” observes John Brewin at Portman Road. MATCH REPORT: Everton 2-3 Bournemouth. Will Unwin, who will have earned his corn at Goodison after that, reports on a ground falling “from delirium to silence” only to pick up again with “boos at full-time for Sean Dyche.” MATCH REPORT: Leicester City 1-2 Aston Villa. “There was a buoyant mood among the Villa contingent long before they recorded an eventful victory at Leicester,” reports Ben Fisher from the King Power. There’s still more Premier League action to come, in the shape of West Ham United v Manchester City. Barry Glendenning has everything you need. Post-collapse postbag … and the Clockwatch community rallies round in Mary Waltz’s hour of need. “Thoughts and prayers etc, Mary Waltz” – Simon McMahon “Poor Mary Waltz. Thoughts and prayers, poor dear” – Angelo Puglisi “I fear for Mary Walsh’s well-being” – Mike MacKenzie “Mary Waltz’s comedown off her hallucinogens has begun” – Richard Wilkinson Finally, from Mary herself: “This is a foreshadowing of hell. Only Everton can collapse like this. Sigh.” Stay strong, Mary. Still 35 matches to go. Premier League table Scottish Premiership full-times. Dundee 2-2 St Mirren St Johnstone 1-2 Motherwell Championship full-times. Burnley 1-1 Blackburn Rovers Cardiff City 0-2 Middlesbrough Coventry City 0-1 Norwich City Derby County 3-0 Bristol City Leeds United 2-0 Hull City Millwall 3-0 Sheffield Wednesday Oxford United 3-1 Preston North End Plymouth Argyle 0-1 Stoke City Portsmouth 1-3 Sunderland West Bromwich Albion 1-0 Swansea City Premier League full-times Arsenal 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion Brentford 3-1 Southampton Everton 2-3 Bournemouth Ipswich Town 1-1 Fulham Leicester City 1-2 Aston Villa Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers FULL TIME: Ipswich Town 1-1 Fulham The Tractor Boys harvest their first point of their Premier League season. FULL TIME: Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolves It ends all square at the City Ground. Fair on the balance of play, but Forest will point to the penalty they should have had. FULL TIME: Leicester 1-2 Aston Villa Leicester still wait for their first win of the campaign, as Villa notch their second. FULL TIME: Everton 2-3 Bournemouth … as are, quite unbelievably, Everton. Sean Dyche disappears straight down the tunnel, despite Andoni Iraola’s attempt to hang onto his arm and shake his hand. How on earth did Everton lose that? How did Bournemouth win it?! FULL TIME: Brentford 3-1 Southampton Saints still looking for their first point of the season … GOAL! Brentford 3-1 Southampton (Sugawara 90+4) A consolation. GOAL! Everton 2-3 Bournemouth (Sinisterra 90+6) Luis Sinisterra completes an absurd comeback. Oh Everton. Everton 2-2 Bournemouth. The Cherries continue to carve out chances. Everton suddenly hanging on for a point! Leicester 1-2 Aston Villa. Youri Tielemans and Jamie Vardy come together in the Villa box. The hosts want a penalty, but the tackle’s good. GOAL! Everton 2-2 Bournemouth (Cook 90+2) Lewis Cook breaks Sean Dyche’s heart. This comeback came out of absolutely nowhere. Everton 2-1 Bournemouth. The hosts suddenly look nervous. They should have been home and hosed, but with six minutes of injury time to play, this is on. “Don’t worry Joe Pearson (4.12pm),” begins Zach Neeley. “Next week will be a new handball interpretation, only the moon changes more consistently. (‘It looked like a half crescent to me but VAR disagrees.’)“ Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolves. Nope. No goal. VAR confirms the offside. GOAL! Everton 2-1 Bournemouth (Semenyo 87) Bournemouth have done absolutely nothing in attack this afternoon … until now. But has Antoine Semenyo’s effort come too late? Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolves. Some pinball in the Forest box. Chris Wood scores what looks like a winner …. but the flag pops up for offside. VAR to take a look. In lieu of late Premier League drama, here’s Kári Tulinius with some nerve-jangling action from Germany. “Today’s Bundesliga thriller was Stuttgart v Mainz, which ended 3-3, with the Carnival Club equalizing in the fourth minute of extra time. As a fan of the Swabians this made my heart sink, but I have to admit that this was a good show for the neutrals. Now excuse me while I go fish my heart back out of the depths.” Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolves. Now it’s Wolverhampton’s turn to scream for a penalty, as the ball pings off Chris Wood’s arm. This one doesn’t look quite so obvious, not that it stops Gary O’Neil raging hard. GOAL! Leicester 1-2 Aston Villa (Buonanotte 73) The on-loan Facundo Buonanotte sets himself and smashes home, and it’s back on at the King Power. Ipswich 1-1 Fulham. Not a great deal going on at Portman Road, despite Liam Delap’s best efforts. “Obviously, someone dosed my morning coffee,” writes Mary Waltz, who in the spirit of the current 1990s revivalism, has embraced trippy hedonism. “It has to be a hallucination; my TV is showing Everton with a two-goal lead.” GOAL! Brentford 3-0 Southampton (Wissa 69) Who needs Ivan Toney? GOAL! Brentford 2-0 Southampton (Mbeumo 65) Jan Bednarek dithers, Brentford steal away with the ball, and Bryan Mbeumo scores his second of the afternoon. It’s surely over for toothless Saints. GOAL! Leicester 0-2 Aston Villa (Duran 63) Unai Emery sends on Jhon Durán, who is quickly in the thick of it, converting a Lucas Digne cross to double Villa’s lead. Leicester 0- 1 Aston Villa. Oliver Skipp and Harry Winks combine to set up Jamie Vardy, who scores … but it won’t count, because the ball hit hapless referee David Coote during the build-up. What a fiasco. GOAL! Everton 2-0 Bournemouth (Calvert-Lewin 57) Seamus Coleman misses a gilt-edged chance to put Everton two up, but no matter. Dwight McNeil feeds Dominic Calvert-Lewin, who dinks over a stranded Kepa to double the hosts’ lead. Those baby steps getting a little more assured. Lull-in-action postbag. “Have we come full circle on handball in a very short time?” wonders Joe Pearson. “Seems like just a season or so ago, even the slightest graze of the arm in the box was a penalty. Now, even the obvious ones go unpunished. I have absolutely no clue anymore.” Welcome to my world, which I’ve inhabited since about 1993. Meanwhile Mary Waltz responds to Everton’s opener: “Hey, we scored! Baby steps, baby steps.” GOAL! Everton 1-0 Bournemouth (Keane 50) Jack Harrison crosses. Michael Keane slots on the volley. A deserved lead for Everton, who started the day at the bottom of the Premier League. Keane never the most popular player at Goodison; he’ll have gone up a notch or two in everyone’s estimation now. More from Scotland, this time from Simon McMahon. “It gives me no pleasure to have to say it, but Dundee are clearly in free fall already after the sale of Luke McCowan to Celtic yesterday. As things stands they are now behind United and in the bottom six, having played a game more. Frankly, it’ll be a miracle if they stay up.” Scottish Premiership half-times. Dundee 1-2 St Mirren St Johnstone 0-1 Motherwell “Having given the Jambos a skelping last week, Well are up at McDiarmid Park,” reports James Humphires. “Not at the game so can’t know for sure, but given it was Dan Casey who scored I would put a tenner on a header, possibly even a thumping one.” Championship half-times. Burnley 1-1 Blackburn Rovers (FT) Cardiff City 0-2 Middlesbrough (FT) Coventry City 0-1 Norwich City (FT) Derby County 1-0 Bristol City Leeds United 0-0 Hull City Millwall 0-0 Sheffield Wednesday Oxford United 1-1 Preston North End Plymouth Argyle 0-0 Stoke City Portsmouth 0-1 Sunderland West Bromwich Albion 1-0 Swansea City Premier League half-times Arsenal 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion (FT) Brentford 1-0 Southampton Everton 0-0 Bournemouth Ipswich Town 1-1 Fulham Leicester City 0-1 Aston Villa Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolves. It was Jørgen Strand Larsen’s arm that moved towards the ball. On Sky, both Paul Merson and referee expert Mike Dean think a penalty should have been awarded. Wolves get away with one as half-time looms. Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolves. A possible penalty? The ball pings off a Wolves elbow with Chris Wood lurking, but neither referee nor VAR shows any interest. GOAL! Brentford 1-0 Southampton (Mbeumo 43) Kevin Schade smacks a shot against the post. The ball pings back to Bryan Mbeumo, who slots into an empty net with Saints debutant Aaron Ramsdale out of the game. Leicester 0-1 Aston Villa. Caleb Okoli passes up a good opportunity for an equaliser, and a glorious debut goal. It would have been against the run of play. Ipswich 1-1 Fulham. Ipswich should have been 2-0 up; now Fulham should be leading 2-1. Such is football. Rodrigo Muniz doing what Liam Delap did earlier, in failing to plant a header. Everton 0-0 Bournemouth. Iliman Ndiaye spins and shoots, only to be denied by Kepa’s first big save for his new club. The hosts well on top, but without the necessary cutting edge so far. GOAL! Ipswich 1-1 Fulham (Traore 32) Ipswich should have been two goals to the good, so you know how these things go. Fulham tie it up through Adama Traore, who converts Antonee Robinson’s cross to end a sweeping move. GOAL! Leicester 0-1 Aston Villa (Onana 28) An intricate, well-worked free-kick routine ends with Jacob Ramsey teeing up Amadou Onana. That’s two goals in three Villa appearances for Onana; he only scored four in 72 at Everton. Ipswich 1-0 Fulham. It should be two goals for Liam Delap, and two assists for Lief Davis, but the former can’t glance the latter’s corner home. FULL TIME: Arsenal 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion. “We started the game really well,” Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta tells TNT Sports. “We scored the goal, 1-0. We started the second half really good but then there is the decision that changes the game completely. “If it [second yellow card] happens throughout the game in a consistent way it is fine but it didn’t. It is the inconsistency.” On this subject, and inspired by the work of Mary Waltz (3.05pm), Zach Neely has penned this little playlet: Refs: Rules are rules [points out a different rule they just didn’t follow] Refs: Not that one GOAL! Ipswich 1-0 Fulham (Delap 15) Leif Davis piles forward, then hands off to Liam Delap, who keeps on going before unleashing an unstoppable long-range shot into the corner. Bellegardesque. Everton 0-0 Bournemouth. A couple of early half-chances for Dominic Calvert-Lewin. The hosts the better team during the early exchanges, but the Cherries are hanging on. GOAL! Nottingham Forest 1-1 Wolves (Bellegarde 12) An instant response from Wolves at the City Ground! Jean-Ricner Bellegarde belts one in from distance. GOAL! Nottingham Forest 1-0 Wolves (Wood 10) Wolves had started well, but now look: Chris Wood heads Elliot Anderson’s corner home. Just the three more goals and Forest will go top! Brentford 0-0 Southampton. Al-Ahli-bound Ivan Toney is in the building. Sat behind the dugout giving his former team-mates all the support. There aren’t any plans for an ostentatious send-off, apparently. No early goals. Poor old Declan Rice, though, eh. “Never give a Premier League official the opportunity to be a petty martinet,” writes Mary Waltz. “‘Rules are rules’ is what they live for.” While we wait for the first meaningful action of the Premier League, let us repair to Scotland, where Simon McMahon awaits. “Scotland’s game of the day is, eh, tomorrow as Celtic face bitter rivals Rangers Dundee United travel to face a struggling Hearts side at Tynecastle. Struggling until they play us, no doubt. Today, Dundee are at home to St Mirren but will be without star man Luke McCowan, who joined Celtic yesterday. Shame. Today’s other games are Ross County v Aberdeen and St Johnstone, who were spanked 2-0 last week at Tannadice, v Motherwell.” It’s Saturday 3pm! Whistles ring out all across the land. Here we go, then. FULL TIME: Arsenal 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion. Ed Aarons was at the Emirates to see Declan Rice pick up two daft yellows and Mikel Arteta give referee Chris Kavanagh his views on the matter in the full-disclosure style. Here’s his verdict. … so here’s what the Premier League looks like going into today’s 3pms. Should Forest stick four past Wolves without reply, they’ll go top, top, top … for a couple of hours at least. It’s almost as if none of this really means anything until November or so, but hey, you try filling up the internet at 2.43pm on a Saturday in August. There’s also an early batch of results in from the Championship … Burnley 1-1 Blackburn Rovers Cardiff City 0-2 Middlesbrough Coventry City 0-1 Norwich City … and League One … Blackpool 2-2 Wycombe Wanderers Rotherham United 2-1 Huddersfield Town … and finally League Two. Gillingham 1-0 Chesterfield Port Vale 2-3 Doncaster Rovers A street-fighting draw for Blackburn in the Cotton Mills derby. Rovers lost Makhtar Gueye to two yellow cards, the second picked up by miming a request for the referee to book Burnley’s Maxime Esteve. And there’s Declan Rice thinking his sending off was needless enough. FULL TIME: Arsenal 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion. The first Premier League result of the day is in. The Gunners were leading at half-time, but Declan Rice daftly/controversially (delete according to taste) picked up a second yellow card and Brighton took advantage to level up. That’s seven points from nine for both Mikel Arteta and Fabian Hürzeler, and it’s fairly obvious who’ll be the happier. Barry Glendenning has the minute-by-minute details. KEVIN CAMPBELL (1970-2024). “It will be an emotional day at Goodison paying tribute to a Blue gone far too soon, Super Kevin Campbell,” writes Gary Naylor. “A couple of years ago, I called a phone-in on Talksport when he was the guest pundit. I told him that my father, quite frail by this time, had seen him in his bow tie on television, stretched out an unexpectedly bony finger, and said: ‘We owe him everything.’ He was moved I think - I know I was. If someone, anyone, is important to you, tell them - the chance may not come again. RIP Super Kev.” Team news: Forest v Wolves Nottingham Forest are unchanged from the XI that started the win at Southampton last Saturday. Wolves, battered 6-2 at home by Chelsea, give a debut to goalkeeper Sam Johnstone, while new midfielder Andre is one of the subs. Nottingham Forest: Sels, Williams, Milenkovic, Murillo, Aina, Sangare, Anderson, Elanga, Gibbs-White, Hudson-Odoi, Wood. Subs: Carlos Miguel, Awoniyi, Dominguez, Moreira, Alex Moreno, Jota Silva, Yates, Sosa, Boly. Wolverhampton Wanderers: Johnstone, Mosquera, Dawson, Gomes, Nelson Semedo, Joao Gomes, Lemina, Ait Nouri, Matheus Cunha, Bellegarde, Larsen. Subs: Bentley, Doherty, Bueno, Andre Trindade, Hwang, Rodrigo Gomes, Doyle, Sarabia, Goncalo Guedes. Referee: Simon Hooper (Wiltshire). Team news: Leicester v Villa Oliver Skipp, Jordan Ayew and Caleb Okoli make their full Premier League debuts for Leicester. Odsonne Edouard, a deadline-day arrival from Crystal Palace, was registered too late to feature today. Aston Villa also feature a debutant: Lamare Bogarde replaces the hamstrung Matty Cash. Leicester City: Hermansen, Justin, Okoli, Faes, Kristiansen, Skipp, Ndidi, Winks, Fatawu, Vardy, Ayew. Subs: Iversen, Mavididi, El Khannous, De Cordova-Reid, Ricardo Pereira, Vestergaard, Soumare, McAteer, Buonanotte. Aston Villa: Martinez, Konsa, Bogarde, Torres, Digne, Bailey, Onana, Tielemans, McGinn, Rogers, Watkins. Subs: Gauci, Barkley, Duran, Buendia, Nedeljkovic, Maatsen, Ramsey, Swinkels, Zych. Referee: David Coote (Nottinghamshire). Team news: Ipswich v Fulham Ipswich hand Kalvin Phillips and Chiedozie Ogbene their first Premier League starts for the club. They’re the only two changes from the XI that started the brave but futile display at Manchester City, with Massimo Luongo and Ben Johnson dropping to the bench. Fulham are unchanged from the team that started last weekend’s victory over Leicester. Ipswich Town: Muric, Tuanzebe, Woolfenden, Greaves, Davis, Morsy, Phillips, Ogbene, Szmodics, Giraud-Hutchinson, Delap. Subs: Walton, Chaplin, Cajuste, Al Hamadi, Johnson, Townsend, Luongo, O’Shea, Jack Clarke. Fulham: Leno, Tete, Diop, Bassey, Robinson, Andreas Pereira, Lukic, Traore, Smith Rowe, Iwobi, Rodrigo Muniz. Subs: Benda, Andersen, Reed, Jimenez, Wilson, Cairney, Cuenca, Berge, Castagne. Referee: Lewis Smith (Lancashire). Team news: Everton v Bournemouth Everton respond to their 4-0 defeat at Tottenham Hotspur by replacing Abdoulaye Doucoure and Roman Dixon with Iliman Ndiaye and captain Seamus Coleman. Bournemouth give a debut to their new keeper Kepa. Everton: Pickford, Coleman, Tarkowski, Keane, Mykolenko, Iroegbunam, Gueye, Harrison, Ndiaye, McNeil, Calvert-Lewin. Subs: Virginia, Beto, O’Brien, Doucoure, Young, Lindstrom, Garner, Armstrong, Dixon. Bournemouth: Arrizabalaga, Araujo, Zabarnyi, Senesi, Kerkez, Cook, Christie, Semenyo, Kluivert, Tavernier, Evanilson. Subs: Travers, Huijsen, Brooks, Ouattara, Smith, Sinisterra, Hill, Aarons, Scott. Referee: Stuart Attwell (Warwickshire). Team news: Brentford v Southampton Brentford make two changes after the 2-0 defeat at Liverpool. Mads Roerslev and Keane Lewis-Potter make way for Mikkel Damsgaard and Kevin Schade. Saints give a debut to their new goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale, who replaces Alex McCarthy between the sticks. Brentford: Flekken, Damsgaard, Collins, Pinnock, Ajer, Norgaard, Janelt, Jensen, Mbeumo, Wissa, Schade. Subs: Valdimarsson, van den Berg, Carvalho, Mee, Yarmolyuk, Lewis-Potter, Konak, Trevitt, Roerslev. Southampton: Ramsdale, Harwood-Bellis, Bednarek, Stephens, Sugawara, Smallbone, Downes, Aribo, Walker-Peters, Armstrong, Brereton. Subs: McCarthy, Lallana, Bree, Fernandes, Archer, Taylor, Ugochukwu, Amo-Ameyaw, Dibling. Referee: Josh Smith (Lincolnshire). Preamble Welcome to our hopefully goal-littered coverage of today’s 3pm kick-offs in the Premier League. Five games on the card today. Brentford v Southampton Everton v Bournemouth Ipswich Town v Fulham Leicester City v Aston Villa Nottingham Forest v Wolverhampton Wanderers You could make a case for four of those being potential relegation six-pointers, with the other one having a bearing on the dogfight. Too soon? Team news coming right up!