That’ll be all from me tonight. Harry Kane and Manchester United really made me earn my money. Thanks to all who messaged in. This new-look Champions League has begun and I still don’t know what Carabao tastes like. Another time. Will Unwin was at Goodison Park to take in the shootout. Jamie Jackson’s report from Old Trafford is in. Full-time: Preston 1-1 Fulham (16-15 on penalties!) Finally, it comes to a close. Timothy Castagne blazes over the bar for Fulham before Ryan Ledson, who scored during normal time, seals victory for Preston. The penalty shootout between Fulham and Preston refuses to end: it’s 12-12 as I type. Full-time: Real Madrid 3-1 Stuttgart Endrick puts an end to proceedings with a staggering third goal in injury time, beginning in his own half on the counter before thundering in a shot from around 25 yards. Full-time: Bayern Munich 9-2 Dinamo Zagreb Nine! A bizarre scoreline, aided by three penalties for Harry Kane. Leon Goretzka, presumably suffering from FOMO, nabbed a late one. Full-time: Everton 1-1 Southampton (5-6 on penalties) Ashley Young misses in the shootout for Everton to give the Saints victory. The boys from Goodison are having a tough time of it at the moment. Full-time: Manchester United 7-0 Barnsley Christian Eriksen nabs a second – no one fancies a hat-trick in this one, Harry – before the final whistle. Manchester United comfortably avoid an upset and Marcus Rashford has three goals in two games; life looks good for Erik ten Hag once again. GOAL! Bayern Munich 8-2 Dinamo Zagreb (Sané 85) The carnage continues – remember when it was 3-2? This time it’s Leroy Sané for Bayern, finding the bottom corner from the edge of the box. GOAL! Real Madrid 2-1 Stuttgart (Rüdiger 83) They always find a way. Antonio Rüdiger leaps highest from Luka Modric’s corner to nod in for Madrid and restore their lead. Full-time: Brentford 3-1 Leyton Orient Leyton Orient took an early lead in this one, but Brentford responded with three before the half-time whistle. Full-time: QPR 1-2 Crystal Palace Eberechi Eze’s winner at his old playground is enough to send Crystal Palace into the next round. GOAL! Manchester United 6-0 Barnsley (Eriksen 81) The rout continues at Old Trafford, with Christian Eriksen gliding into the box to get on the end of Bruno Fernandes’ ball from the left. FOUR! Bayern Munich 7-2 Dinamo Zagreb (Kane pen 78) Another penalty, another goal for Harry Kane. He’s having a wonderful evening, making my job a lot harder in the process. Stop scoring, please. HAT-TRICK! Bayern Munich 6-2 Dinamo Zagreb (Kane pen 73) It’s another hat-trick for Harry Kane – he got one on the weekend, too – slotting in his second penalty of the game. He’s also gone past Wayne Rooney tonight to become the leading English goalscorer in the Champions League. GOAL! Real Madrid 1-1 Stuttgart (Undav 68) Deniz Undav equalises for the German side! It comes from a corner, flicked on towards the far post, where the volleyed ball across goal finds Undav free for a header. GOALS! Bayern Munich 5-2 Dinamo Zagreb (Kane 57, Olise 61) Remember that thing I said about a Dinamo comeback? Kane gets his second by following up on a rebound before being denied a third two minutes later, the goal disallowed due to offside. Nevermind, though, because Michael Olise has a brace, rolling the ball into an empty net after Musiala lays it off. GOALS! Manchester United 5-0 Barnsley (Garnacho 49, Rashford 58) Garnacho and Rashford both have braces now, United thoroughly enjoying this Tuesday night kickabout. GOAL! Real Madrid 1-0 Stuttgart (Mbappé 46) Kylian Mbappé is up and running in the Champions League for Real Madrid. Rodrygo does the hard work, skipping down the right wing to get on to a through ball before squaring for the Frenchman, who just has to tuck the ball into an empty net. GOALS! Bayern Munich 3-2 Dinamo Zagreb (Petkovic 48, Ogiwara 50) There’s a comeback brewing at the Allianz! Dinamo hit back through two goals in two minutes, with Takuya Ogiwara slotting through the legs of the keeper to make it 3-2. GOAL! QPR 1-2 Crystal Palace (Eze 64) It had to be. Eberechi Eze scores against his former club to restore Palace’s lead. GOAL! Preston 1-1 Fulham (Nelson 61) Reiss Nelson finds the net after receiving a cut-back from the left – that’s his first goal for Fulham. GOAL! QPR 1-1 Crystal Palace (Field 53) Game on at Loftus Road as Sam Field levels things up after a game of pinball inside the box from a corner. “Stuttgart have come agonizingly close to scoring against Real Madrid on a few occasions already, but didn’t convert their chances,” writes Kári Tulinius. “The reigning champions, meanwhile, haven’t been able to get in their flow. I have seen this film often enough to know how it ends. But the fan in me hopes this time it’ll be different.” Reports from the finished action: GOAL! Manchester United 3-0 Barnsley (Garnacho 45+2) A joyous first-half for Erik ten Hag’s side is rounded off by a goal for Alejandro Garnacho, the ball bouncing right for him after Marcus Rashford is dispossessed inside the box. Goals from elsewhere: Sheffield Wednesday have a 1-0 lead in their Carabao Cup match against Blackpool through Di’Shon Bernard, while Sporting Lisbon lead against Lille in the Champions League through Viktor Gyokeres. Oh, and England’s Angel Gomes has been sent off for Lille after receiving two yellows. GOALS! Bayern Munich 3-0 Dinamo Zagreb (Guerreiro 33, Olise 38) Bayern are causing mayhem, the three points already bagged here. First it’s Raphaël Guerreiro, smashing in on the half-volley after a chested lay-off from Jamal Musiala. Michael Olise then gets in on the fun, heading in from a short-corner routine for his second goal in as many games. GOAL! Manchester United 2-0 Barnsley (Antony pen 35) Antony, the forgotten man, wins a penalty after going down from the keeper’s challenge. He’s the man to take it, too, scoring despite the keeper diving to the correct side. GOAL! Brentford 3-1 Leyton Orient (Norgaard 45) And the fun continues for Brentford after that early hint of jeopardy. Christian Norgaard, the skipper, makes it three. GOAL! Preston 1-0 Fulham (Ledson 36) Upset watch: Ryan Ledson perfectly places a low first-time hit from the edge of the box to give Preston the lead against Fulham. GOAL! Bayern Munich 1-0 Dinamo Zagreb (Kane pen 19) Harry Kane steps up on penalty duties for Bayern to provide an early lead for the hosts after Aleksandar Pavlovic is brought down in the area. GOAL! Everton 1-1 Southampton (Harwood-Bellis 32) Taylor Harwood-Bellis gets the Saints back on track, heading in from a free-kick at Goodison Park. GOAL! Manchester United 1-0 Barnsley (Rashford 17) It’s a wonderful team and solo goal from Manchester United. They work it from the back through to Alejandro Garnacho, who finds Marcus Rashford on the right with a diagonal ball. Rashford’s first touch is perfect before he drifts gracefully into the box to calmly slot home. GOAL! Brentford 2-1 Leyton Orient (Damsgaard 27) Leyton Orient’s joy is incredibly short-lived as their lead is overturned, Mikkel Damsgaard heading in from Carvalho’s cross. GOAL! Everton 1-0 Southampton (Doucouré 20) After a game of head-volley from a corner it’s Abdoulaye Doucouré who gets the final touch to give Everton the lead in the all-Premier League clash. GOAL! QPR 0-1 Crystal Palace (Nketiah 16) Eddie Nketiah has his first goal for Crystal Palace, lacing the ball into the net after it was rolled into his path inside the box from a sneaky Eberechi Eze free-kick. GOAL! Brentford 1-1 Leyton Orient (Carvalho 18) Ignore my previous post: Brentford are back in business, baby. Fábio Carvalho equalises with a top finish, an overhead kick on the six-yard line after a save from the keeper saw the ball lob up in the air. GOAL! Brentford 0-1 Leyton Orient (Cooper 12) Upset alert! Brandon Cooper gives the League One side the lead against the Premier League team, tucking in at the far post from close range. “Evening Taha, interesting to see how Real cope with a long season without Mr Metronomic Toni Kroos,” writes John McEnerney. “Modric isn’t enough & the young midfielders they have haven’t the discipline or the ability yet to sit deep dictate the play. To be honest there isn’t many about that can. Real will give you a goal but have savage firepower that might just be enough. Enjoy the games.” Wonder what our man Toni’s up to. My Friday five-a-side group in south London is short on numbers this week. If you’re around, Toni, drop me a line. Here are the 7.45pm BST Carabao Cup starts that have kicked-off: Blackpool v Sheff Wed Brentford v Leyton Orient Everton v Southampton Preston North End v Fulham QPR v Crystal Palace Full-time: Juventus 3-1 PSV The visitors nicked a last-minute consolation, with Ismael Saibari slotting in with his left foot inside the box. That’s the first goal Juve have conceded this season. What a night for the Villans. Unrelated book chat continued from a previous live blog I did: “Thank you Taha for introducing Prophet Song last time out; had a difficult time putting it down over the weekend; it was mesmerizing,” writes Karen Asad. “So glad to hear 5 women are shortlisted for this year’s booker.” Glad you found it, Karen. Elsewhere, we’ve begun proceedings in the Carabao: Stoke are hosting Fleetwood Town in a 7.30pm BST kick-off. Bayern Munich v Dinamo Zagreb team news Michael Olise, who scored his first goal for Bayern on the weekend, is rewarded with a start in the Champions League. Real Madrid v Stuttgart team news Madrid ring the changes from their 2-0 win over Real Sociedad on the weekend. The ins: Lucas Vásquez, Aurélien Tchouaméni, Jude Bellingham and Rodrygo. The outs: Éder Militão, Luka Modric, Arda Guler and Brahim Díaz. Manchester United v Barnsley team news Manuel Ugarte, the new boy, makes his first start for Manchester United, with Casemiro getting the captain’s armband. GOAL! Juventus 3-0 PSV (González 52) The Old Lady are heading towards a straightforward win on opening night. Nicolás González is played on-side as a cross from the left finds him unmarked in the box; his first touch sets him up for a fine dinked finish. Rob Smyth is watching a reboot of that 2005 classic: Niall McVeigh writes on the return of Big(ger) Cup: Preamble Real Madrid v Stuttgart. Bayern Munich v Dinamo Zagreb. Manchester United v, um, Barnsley. Yes, it’s time for the Champions League-Carabao clockwatch, a strange hotchpotch but an enjoyable service I’m happy to provide. I’ll keep you updated on the goals, reds, potential strike action, whatever catches the eye. We’re already underway in Europe – there’s a lot to squeeze in this year – with Juventus hosting PSV and Aston Villa up against the peculiarly named Young Boys. Feel free to get in touch with your thoughts, queries and do please let me know if you’ve ever actually drank the Carabao Energy Drink. Book recommendations are always welcome.