have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years and we are getting married next year. It is a really good relationship and we are very happy. However, he often asks me silly domestic questions, which he could easily work out for himself and in most cases knows the answer to anyway, such as: “Where is the dishwasher powder?” and, ”How long does pasta take to cook?” He is a grown man of 37 and is very accomplished in his life and career, so I can’t understand why he regresses into this childish state where he thinks I should give him the answer to all domestic queries, aside from the obvious fact that I’m a woman. When I ask him to work it out for himself he gets angry and it turns into a horrible fight. I have tried to bring it up calmly away from the situation and explain I find it irritating and frankly unattractive, but that doesn’t work, either. I am starting to feel like my only option if I want to stay with him is to live with the stupid questions and underlying gender bias. What should I do? • When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed. • If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns. • All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms