Name: Whamageddon. Age: Eleven years old. Appearance: As late as possible. Is it an event? It’s a game. A festive game. Like charades? No, it’s more of a play-along-remotely game. Like charades on Zoom? Because I am never doing that again. It’s a game you play with Wham’s 1984 hit Last Christmas. Do I sing along to it? You could, but that would be wildly counterproductive. Do I just listen to it? You do the opposite – you try not to listen to it. That will be difficult at this time of year! That’s the idea: from 1 December until 24 December, players attempt to avoid hearing this most unavoidable of Christmas songs to see who can manage the longest. If you hear it and recognise it, you’re out. Then what? You announce your retirement from the game by posting on social media with the hashtag #Whamaggeddon. Better luck next year. That’s it? Barring a few technicalities, yes: cover versions of Last Christmas don’t count, and trying to force other players out by sending them links to the song is considered bad form. The full rules can be found at whamageddon.com. What on earth is the point of this? There is no real point, although some people have used the game to fundraise for charity in the past. It sounds as if your only chance of winning is by not leaving the house all month. Good idea – maybe the government could use Whamageddon as part of its Covid strategy. Seriously, though, no one will be able to shop, or go to the pub. This will destroy the economy! Some pubs have thought of that. In 2018, the Fullers pub chain banned the song from all its premises to give players some sanctuary. 2018? How long has this game been going on without me? It started on the online forum GTPlanet in 2010, but it wasn’t known as Whamageddon until a dedicated Facebook page appeared in 2016. With my luck, I’ll lose straight away and have nothing to avoid all Christmas season except my relatives. There are still alternative versions you can get in on. Some gamers avoid the Pogues’ Fairytale of New York, for others, it’s Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You. Do say: “Last Christmas, I gave it my all, but the very next day I got into a minicab with Heart FM playing.” Don’t say: “SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I’M LISTENING TO A MACROECONOMICS PODCAST.”