That, then, is us. Heartbreak for Celtic, business as usual for Man City, and infinity and beyond for Newcastle. Night-night. I was watching three games and the goals show so I can’t say this with total authority, but Phil Foden played well tonight. I was surprised he was marginalised last season though i understood it – with Haaland, someone who just wants to finish, in the side, Guardiola wanted another possession player so preferred Grealish. Now, though, he’s in the middle, where his ability to suddenly make things happen very quickly is a serious weapon. City, meanwhile, look ominous. Watching them is like watching a sprinter run within himself, easing up, then you look at the clock and it’s 9.92 or whatever. Doku looks like another sensible signing, Alvzrez has gone up a level, and Foden is back. Good luck, everyone else. It’s wild at St James’ and rightly so – Newcastle were brilliant tonight and there’s every sense they’re going to get better, quickly. I can’t ignore the provenance of all this, but I also can’t ignore the brilliantly aggressive way in which they play nor how well-drilled they are. Results Group E Celtic 1-2 Lazio ** Group F Borussia Dortmund 0-0 AC Milan Newcastle United 4-1 PSG ** Group G Crvena zvezda 2-2 Young Boys Leipzig 1-3 Man City ** Group H Porto 0-1 Barcelona RED CARD FOR GAVI! He pulls someone back on halfway and is shown a second yellow. I’m not sure why he did that. WHAT A GOAL! Newcastle 4-1 PSG (Schar 90+1) Schar seizes a loose ball, plays a one-two off Murphy and, from 20 yards on the slide, somehow powercurls a gloooorious finish high past Donnarumma at the near post! What a night at St James’! GOAL! Crvena Zvezda 2-2 Young Boys (Bukari 88) I only see the celebration here, and it’s a belter! GOAL! Celtic 1-2 Lazio (Pedro 90+5) Still got it! Guendouzi crosses from the right and Big Pedro Rodriguez is there at the back post to drift a fine header into the net! Mayhem in the away section! Heartbeak in Paradise! GOAL! Leipzig 1-3 Man City (Doku 90+2) With Leipzig gambling in search of an equaliser, Haaland catches a clearance and turns it onto Alvarez, who plays in the electric Doku. He screeches goalwards, opens his body, and slides his first Champions League goal into the far corner. Into the last minute in Leipzig; in Newcastle there are still five to go, on account of the seven added on at the end of the first half. Celtic and Lazio, meanwhile, have played two of six additional minutes. “I’m sat in a restaurant in Porto, having a very nice dinner with European marine scientists,” admits Bob O’Hara. “Did Porto miss the penalty or are we being too loud and drowned out the cheer?” Porto had their penalty confiscated from them by VAR. GOAL! Leipzig 1-2 Man City (Alvarez 84) Doku, on as sub, jinks down the left, nips inside and lays back to Alvarez, who digs out from under his feet and scoops a looping curler from the edge of the box, left-hand side, and into the top-right corner! That is an absolutely rrridiculous goal. NO PENALTY TO PORTO! Eustáquio is adjudged to have controlled with the top of his arm. Harsh, I’d say. NO GOAL! Celtic 1-1 Lazio I’m not sure Palma needed Maeda’s touch, and I’m afraid iot’s robbed him of the moment of his life so far. GOAL CHECK AT PARKHEAD Was Palma offside when Maeda flicked to him? I think he was, you know… GOAL! Celtic 2-1 Lazio (Palma 81) A ball over the top from the right, Maeda flicks it around the corner, and Palam thrashes a drag inside the near post! Mayhem in Paradise! PENALTY TO PORTO! A long ball may have hit Eustáquio’s arm, it definitely hit Cancelo’s, and the ref points to the spot. Jamie Bynoe-Gittens came on for Dortmund a few minutes ago and he’s made an immediate difference. I’ve been impressed with him almost every time I’ve seen him, as it goes, and given how impotent his side look at the moment, i doubt he’s far from a regular start. Hakimi slings a great long pass down the middle and Dembele is in! But Lascelles does really well to pursue, leaning into him as he shoots and avoiding censure though he doesn’t get the ball. Newcastle are still pressing Paris deep inside their own half. It’s impossible for me not to compare how I perceive the experience of facing them with that of facing Manchester United. “My bugbear with VAR,” says Daniel Barnett, “is that it represents an unrealistic and infantile yearning for an objective truth that simply doesn’t exist. Why can’t we just live with the fact that referees (like judges, teachers, and even — whisper it — parents) make subjective interpretations with almost every decision, and are not infallible? Deal with it, snowflakes! It’s like nobody’s read Kuhn’s “Scientific Revolutions”, or post-modernism never happened. And as you say, this pathetic desire for ‘truth’ has come at the cost of sacrificing the elation of the goalscoring moment, and has just undermined refs’ authority further. Bah, humbug!” Agree with all of this. I do think the laws need clarifying, but ultimately I don’t much care if refs get stuff wrong Leipzig are defending their box well, and they’re having to. Foden has just had a dangerous cross turned away, after which leipzig sned on Werner and Sesko. At Paradise, Lazio are putting Celtic under. I don’t massively fancy the home defence to see it out, but I’d not be shocked if Kyogo and Maeda found a counter.