The prosecution: Helena She likes to put on music and burp to the beat. Her favourite is Sister Sledge’s We Are Family I find my best friend Rowena’s habit of burping in public quite disgusting. And she feels no remorse, which I find even worse. Every single time she eats or drinks, she seems to burp. Well, it’s probably not every single time, but it certainly feels like that. Rowena is an extremely gassy person – she burps in a way I’ve never heard before. They’re really low and long. It’s like something from a warthog. Why do we all have to be subjected to it? Her lack of embarrassment or shame about it is also weird. If I were to ever burp in public, I would immediately say sorry to everyone around me, but Rowena just finds it funny. We go out together often and I’ve seen the disgusted looks of people around us after she has let one rip. I’ve apologised to them on behalf of her. There are etiquette rules for a reason – to keep society in order. But Rowena revels in the shock factor Once she let out a huge burp after some beers and a man turned around, horrified. Instead of apologising she said, “better out than in!” I said to her: “Is it though? Is it really?” There are rules of etiquette for a reason; to keep society in order. But Rowena revels in the shock factor. She fully leans into it and enjoys putting on a show. Another time a man in the street called her disgusting after she belched really loudly after drinking a cider. Rowena tracked him down, then lectured him about how it’s all gendered and that men are more likely to be lauded for belching than women. I don’t know if that’s even true but it was a great defence. Anyway, the man repeated his insult and walked off, so it didn’t get her anywhere. I think she enjoyed, it though. I’ve been at dinner parties where she’s let out a few burps and noticed that some of our friends don’t like it either. But it’s kind of a running joke now – Rowena’s party piece. She likes to put on some music and burp along to the beat once she’s had a few drinks. Her favourite song to belch along with is Sister Sledge’s We Are Family. I don’t know why. I think Rowena needs to work on her gas issues. Take a tablet. Get a better diet. I can’t defend this behaviour any longer. The defence: Rowena I’d never burp in anyone’s face. It’s just for a laugh when out with friends or after a few drinks I actually find holding gas in very uncomfortable. I think I’m one of those people who needs to let it out because I find it physically difficult to keep it in. I don’t know, maybe it’s my digestion, but I let them rip quite often in the confines of my own home and find it really satisfying. I feel lighter and less bloated after. When I’m out, I try to control my burping, but it’s hard. I just like the feeling of letting the trapped air out and yes, I admit, I do feel like my belching has become a bit of a party piece. I’ve learned to burp in a particular way. I can burp out partial sentences and burp in time with the music. Helena gets mortified if I do that in public, so I try not to make a burping scene unless we’re among friends, but even then she will still tell me off. She says: “Ro, that’s totally gross.” One time I met a stranger who I had a burping competition with in a bar I can see her point but I’d never burp in anyone’s face or anything. It’s just a bit of a laugh when we’re with friends or have had a few drinks. My burping gets worse with alcohol or fizzy drinks, and certain foods trigger it, too, like artichokes, cauliflower, beans and cabbage.