Early riser? I’m an ex-Goth and a night owl, so I don’t go to bed until 2am, and the earliest I ever get up is 10 o’clock unless I really have to. Sunday morning? I neck an incredibly strong coffee, then take the dogs, Truman and Fitzgerald, for a long walk in Cheltenham’s Pittville Park. I think it’s illegal to own anything except black labs in Gloucestershire. I’ll turn my back and there will be about 80 black labs. Sometimes, I think I must have taken the wrong dog home. Sunday breakfast? At the moment, I’m only doing one meal a day, because I’m a ponce. I’ve never really eaten breakfast, because I get up too late, but I love breakfast spots and I love breakfast meetings, like people do in America after they’ve seen their therapist. On Sundays, when I was doing a road trip for my book in the US, I would always find a diner. My favourite was in Colorado where they do amazing chilli verde on eggs. Handy in the kitchen? I’m pretty good at roast chicken and I make my own stuffing, roast potatoes and spinach, but doing a roast is just an excuse to make bread sauce. I’m obsessed with bread sauce and have it the next day on toast for some double carbing. Sunday relaxation? I’m partial to a feelgood classic movie, something I’ve seen 300 times before. I’ve watched a lot of those manly films, like Battle of the Bulge. But I find Sundays quite dull, to be honest. You’re not supposed to enjoy Monday, but for me it’s Sunday. I don’t really have a job – Sunday isn’t like a Sunday is for other people. I’m not good at relaxing. Life is too short to spend a day doing nothing. Sunday wind down? I’d love to say that I listen to opera, but I’m a real low-culture guy. I loved The Traitors so much that I’ve even watched the Australian and American versions and, if they ever do a celebrity version, I’d kill to be on it. Sundays are about doing something disguised as nothing.