Last week, the pop star Lily Allen was viciously criticised on social media after it was revealed that she had rehomed her dog Mary – after Mary ate her and her children’s passports. The animal rights charity Peta published an open letter accusing Allen of treating her dog like an accessory “to be discarded when they become inconvenient”. Allen tried to put the event in context, saying that the passport eating was the final straw in a series of incidents stemming from the dog’s severe behavioural issues. While I understand the natural impulse to say that Allen is a “monster” for rehoming Mary, I have sympathy for her. Having a pet is a big responsibility, and one we should always take seriously, but when a pet has such extreme behavioural issues that it can’t seem to live and thrive in your home, it’s OK to ask whether it might be better off elsewhere. My sympathy for Allen also stems from the fact that I am toying with the decision to rehome my two cats. I grew up with pets and love animals, but my now ex-boyfriend and I didn’t have any – for a while. Then in January 2023, he came home one day with a kitten he had rescued from a friend of a friend. And six months later, he turned up again with another kitten, claiming that our cat was lonely and needed company. Suddenly, we had two cats. When we broke up, the question of what would happen to our cats hung over everything. Unfortunately, I ended up having to care for both cats. I want to be a good cat-parent: they deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life. Sadly, it’s increasingly clear I can’t provide that. One cat has behavioural issues and severe anxiety – just like Allen’s dog – which has led to her doing her business in inappropriate places. The vet has confirmed it is not a medical issue but I have found it nearly impossible to train her out of it. I have tried to cultivate a stress-free environment, ensuring both cats have toys and enrichment, and I have tried different cat litters to see if that might be the problem – nothing helps. I change the cat litter twice a day and have tried to put food in the areas where she has sprayed so that she associates it with food rather than a toilet. Sometimes she will go a week or two without doing it and I will breathe a sigh of relief, only to walk into the living room and see a mess on my sofa again. My cats have also damaged my furniture, clothing and shoes, which I know is a common issue. My flat is small, and with the two cats, dirty, ragged and chaotic. I don’t hold this against them – how could I? – but I don’t have a lot of disposable income to replace those things or give the cats the space they need. The level of effort, care and time that is needed might be more than I am able to give at this point in my life. I’ve sobbed both at the thought of not being able to care for the cats properly, and also the thought of dealing with these issues for the next 10 to 15 years. I have tried my best to care for my cats, but I have to wonder if it would be better for them and me to live with someone more equipped to give them the lives they deserve. I know that many people will vilify me for what they perceive as an “abandonment” of my two cats, even though I would give them the same care in rehoming them as I have in sharing a home with them: making sure that they go to a good shelter and then to a good family. I will learn to live with people’s judgment if necessary. Allen did the same thing with her dog. In a statement on X, she said that the person that her dog was rehomed with was known to Allen’s family and that it happened “within 24 hours of [the dog] being returned” to the shelter. Her decision allowed Mary to have a better life elsewhere, rather than forcing her to stay in an unhappy environment. The only reason to do that would be to satisfy Allen and her family’s own desires and assuage their guilt over rehoming – and that’s not a good enough reason to keep a pet around. Some people have persevered and made wonderful lives with traumatised or difficult pets, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best approach every time – each situation is different. Despite knowing she might face backlash from friends, family and the public for her choice, Allen acted in the best interests of Mary first and foremost, admitting that she simply couldn’t meet Mary’s needs in the right way. If I go ahead with rehoming my cats, like Allen, it will be out of kindness rather than cruelty. Michele Theil is a freelance journalist and writer