Sunday with Jo Brand: ‘‘I love telly. I’m slightly obsessed because my mum was a bit puritanical about it’

  • 10/8/2023
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Early riser? Not a willing one. I wake about 5.30am. I’m constantly operating on four hours’ sleep. First thing? Telly in bed. I watch Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records. It’s hilarious and ridiculous – things like the farthest tightrope walk in high heels. I’ve always wanted a go. Breakfast? Nothing except a coffee… despite what dieticians say. The earlier I eat, the more calories I can ram in. If I had breakfast, I’d be the size of my house. What’s next? A walk with mates. We walk through the park for half an hour and go to a cafe for three hours. We used to do Saturdays, but there’s a parkrun and we got in the way. There was huffing and puffing and ‘Oh, for God’s sake…’ behind us. Lunch? Carrot shavings and linseeds. A salad(ish). I’d rather eat later in the day. How do you relax? The Sunday papers. I’ll intersperse them with a book. I loved I’m Sorry You Feel That Way by Rebecca Wait. I love telly. I’m slightly obsessed, because my mum was a bit puritanical about it and only let us watch documentaries on scaffolding and stuff like that. Sunday wardrobe? Same as every day: something black that looks like a sack. Sunday soundtrack? My mum and dad used to listen to classical music on Sunday. I’ve got into that habit. I dip into Elaine Paige on Sunday, too. And my daughters introduced me to Lorde and Keaton Henson. In the evening? It could be midnight when I put out the light or half two. I’ll start watching gruesome medical shows at one in the morning. Worst Sunday? My best friend’s dad was the local vicar. I was expected to go to church with her and managed to swerve that by becoming a bellringer. If you don’t catch the sally, that furry bit, when it comes down, it whips around the bell tower. And if you don’t let go, you go up with it. I went up with the bell rope once. I was at least 12ft in the air by the time I remembered to let go. I was only 11 at the time. It was quite a landing.

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