That’s all for today. Barry Glendenning is scrubbing his thighs in anticipation of Aston Villa v Wolves, and I’ll be back later for Brentford v Man Utd. Bye! Match report: Nottingham Forest 1-1 Crystal Palace Match report: Chelsea 2-2 Burnley Match report: Tottenham 2-1 Luton Match report: Bournemouth 2-1 Everton The updated Premier League table Rodrigo Muniz’s injury-time equaliser is a hammer blow to Sheffield United. The full-time scores in our featured games Blimey, that was eventful. Premier League Newcastle 4-3 West Ham Bournemouth 2-1 Everton Chelsea 2-2 Burnley Nottingham Forest 1-1 Crystal Palace Sheffield United 3-3 Fulham Tottenham Hotspur 2-1 Luton Town Women’s Super League Aston Villa 2-2 Leicester City Liverpool 1-4 Man City Scottish Premiership Rangers 3-1 Hibernian Bundesliga Bayer Leverkusen 2-1 Hoffenheim Serie A Napoli 0-3 Atalanta Full time: Sheffield United 3-3 Fulham After 105 minutes, the referee blows his whistle at Bramall Lane. The second period of extra-time will begin shortly. Full time: Rangers 3-1 Hibernian James Tavernier, Cyriel Dessers and Rabbi Matondo all scored to put Rangers back on top of the Scottish Premiership. Full time: Tottenham 2-1 Luton Lads, it’s Tottenham. They’ve specialised in comebacks and/or late winners all season, and they did both today. Full time: Chelsea 2-2 Burnley An outstanding result for Burnley, who were a goal and a man down at half-time but came back to draw another madcap game at Stamford Bridge. They might even haev won it. Full time: Nottm Forest 1-1 Crystal Palace Every point helps, especially when you don’t know how many you actually have, and Forest have Chris Wood to thank for today’s. It will take them out of the relegation places unless Luton equalise at Tottenham. Full time: Bournemouth 2-1 Everton Seamus Coleman’s injury-time own goal has settled matters at the Vitality Stadium. Everton have now gone 12 league games without a win, their worst run since the days of Mike Walker. They have a very good run-in, though, so my hunch is they’ll be okay. “Coleman’s own goal is as bad as you will ever see, especially from the last Everton hero from the Moyes days,” says Brad Wilson. “I want to cry.” You’ll be fine. Look at the fixtures from mid-April. Sheff Utd 3-3 Fulham There are 14 added minutes at Bramall Lane, of which eight have been played. Chelsea 2-2 Burnley Jay Rodriguez has hit the bar for Burnley! This has been an absurdly, RSI-inducingly eventful afternoon. GOAL! Rangers 3-1 Hibs (Matondo 85) Rangers are going back to the top of the Scottish Premiership. Bournemouth 2-1 Everton Coleman’s own goal sounds like a bad one, chested into his own net with Jordan Pickford nowhere to be seen. GOAL! Sheff Utd 3-3 Fulham (Muniz 90+3) Football is bonkers. Rodrigo Muniz has shattered Sheffield United – who moments ago thought they had gone 4-1 up – with a spectacular scissor-kick. GOAL! Bournemouth 2-1 Everton (Coleman og 90+1) Of all the late twists, I didn’t see this coming. Seamus Coleman has almost certainly won the game – for Bournemouth. Chelsea 2-2 Burnley Cole Palmer has missed a great chance to win the game and get his first senior hat-trick, heading wide from close range. Edit: I think I messed this up – it sounds like it was Sterling who missed the header from Palmer’s pass. GOAL! Tottenham 2-1 Luton (Son 86) Never mind the non-goal, there’s been a Son goal – a deflected shot that has put Spurs ahead with a few minutes remaining. That’s a vital goal at both ends of the table; Luton have dropped into the bottom three. And now Burnley and Sheffield United have a genuine chance of survival. GOAL! Bournemouth 1-1 Everton (Beto 87) A big goal down by the south coast. For all Everton’s limitations, they score a helluva lot of vital late goals – Beto has got the latest one. Tottenham 1-1 Luton “That non-goal,” writes Joe Pearson, “looked closer than Liverpool’s against City back in 2019.” GOAL! Chelsea 2-2 Burnley (O"Shea 81) Dara O’Shea has equalised straight away for the ten fellas of Burnley! It was a mistake from Djordje Petrovic, and quite a bad one by all accounts. GOAL! Sheff Utd 3-2 Fulham (De Cordova-Reid 86) It was 4-1; now it’s 3-2! Bobby De Cordova-Reid has drilled one in from 20 yards to give Fulham a sniff of a point. GOAL! Chelsea 2-1 Burnley (Palmer 78) Every emerging team needs a talisman: Chelsea’s has scored his second of the game. Raheem Sterling made it with a neat flick, and Palmer finished emphatically. There’s something slightly vulgar about the concept of the £42.5m bargain, but that’s what Cole Palmer is: style, substance and swagger in perfect harmony. NO GOAL! Sheff Utd 3-1 Fulham Or not, Vinicius Souza was offside in the build-up. GOAL! Sheff Utd 4-1 Fulham (McBurnie 82) It’s four! Oli McBurnie has now scored two and made one, the same as Ben Brereton-Diaz, and from nowhere Sheffield United have a sniff of survival. It would be an escape to compare with the miracle of 1990-91. Tottenham 1-1 Luton Brennan Johnson has had a shot cleared off the line by Alfie Doughty. On Sky Sports, Tim Sherwood says it looks over the line. Imagine if the goalline technology has failed. Schick happens Aston Villa v Wolves is the 5.30pm game. You want team news? Barry Glendenning can get you team news, believe me. There are ways. You don’t wanna know about it. The as-it-stands table Sheff Utd 3-1 Fulham The goal stands. There was also a check for a potential red card for Bernd Leno – apparently the goal led to a bit of a melee in the six-yard box – but he’s been cleared. GOAL! Sheff Utd 3-1 Fulham (Brereton Diaz 69) Scenes galore! Ben Brereton Diaz has made one and scored two at Bramall Lane, although this one is being checked by VAR for a possible foul on Bernd Leno and/or handball and/or JUST DO YOUR JOB LADS. GOAL! Sheff Utd 2-1 Fulham (McBurnie 68) Crikey, Oli McBurnie has restored Sheffield United’s lead. As things stand, United are only six points off safety. Not the dream scenario, I realise, but infinitely better than it was a month ago. Full time: Bayer Leverkusen 2-1 Hoffenheim Now, surely, is the time for wine and cigarettes: Bayer Leverkusen are 13 points clear at the top after another outrageous comeback. They were 1-0 down after 88 minutes, facing their first defeat of the season. You can discern the rest from the scoreline in bold. The latest scores in our featured games Premier League Newcastle 4-3 West Ham (FT) Bournemouth 1-0 Everton Chelsea 1-1 Burnley Nottingham Forest 1-1 Crystal Palace Sheffield United 1-1 Fulham Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 Luton Town Women’s Super League Aston Villa 2-2 Leicester City (FT) Liverpool 1-4 Man City (FT) Scottish Premiership Rangers 2-1 Hibernian Bundesliga Bayer Leverkusen 2-1 Hoffenheim (2.30pm) Serie A Napoli 0-3 Atalanta (FT) GOAL! Bournemouth 1-0 Everton (Solanke 64) And Everton are getting dragged into the muck as well: Dominic Solanke has headed Bournemouth in front from Lloyd Kelly’s cross. GOAL! Nottm Forest 1-1 Crystal Palace (Wood 61) Forest are level through an expert header from Chris Wood! They are now, as things stand, back to being one point behind Luton. Chelsea 1-1 Burnley Djordje Petrovic has just made a brilliant save to stop ten-man Burnley taking the lead! GOAL! Sheff Utd 1-1 Fulham (Palhinha 62) Never mind Leverkusen, the man the current German champions wanted – pick that segue out – has equalised for Fulham. Andreas Pereira’s corner was headed in from close range by Joao Palhinha. GOAL! Bayer Leverkusen 2-1 Hoffenheim (Schick 90+1) Don’t act like you’re surprised. Patrik Schick, Leverkusen’s injury-time specialist, has completed another glorious comeback for – we can say it now, surely – the Bundesliga champions. GOAL! Bayer Leverkusen 1-1 Hoffenheim (Andrich 89) The invincibles have done it again! Robert Andrich has surely maintained Leverkusen’s unbeaten record, and there’s still enough time for them to win it. GOAL! Sheff Utd 1-0 Fulham (Brereton Diaz 58) Ben Brereton Diaz has put Sheffield United in front! It sounds like an affront to the run of play, not that the home side will or should care. GOAL! Tottenham 1-1 Luton (Kabore og 51) Spurs have equalised through a “ridiculous” own goal from Issa Kabore, according to Tim Sherwood on Sky Sports. GOAL! Chelsea 1-1 Burnley (Cullen 47) Well, well: ten-man Burnley have equalised at Stamford Bridge through a rasper from Josh Cullen. Match report: Liverpool 1-4 Manchester City “If the Premier League wanted to put on a musical based on The Big Lebowski, there are some fairly good options for some of the cast,” says Charles Antaki. “Thomas Frank as Donny, Eddie Howe as Brandt, and take your pick among several players for Jesus Quintana. Nev Southall at a pinch for Walter. And since we now all believe that Emma Hayes can do pretty well anything she turns her hand to, why not give her a go as The Dude himself?” Look, we all know who’s playing The Dude, and his team are currently 1-0 down at home to Luton. Bundesliga: Leverkusen 0-1 Hoffenheim (77 min) “Since I pay a bunch of money to various streaming services, I can watch Leverkusen,” writes Joe Pearson. “There has just been a VAR review for a penalty handball against Hoffenheim. I don’t have the sound on, but I have no idea why it wasn’t given. Still, Xabi and Co are masters at last minute comebacks, so we will see.” Meanwhile, in Scotland “United’s best 45 minutes of the season sees them lead Raith 1-0 at half time, and it really should be more,” sys Simon McMahon. “But we all know how these things work. I predict a nervous second half…” It’s ‘United’ now, is it? Chelsea 1-0 Burnley “I’m not a believer that refs should always prioritise keeping 22 men on the pitch – I strongly feel that because recklessness, dangerous play, and cynicism (and in particular diving/simulation) are often not penalised, we see them occur more often,” says Alex Whitney. “So the fact that not only was that not a penalty, let alone a yellow, I’m disappointed that the ref just singlehandedly ruined this match. On top of the calls in the Newcastle-West Ham match, this weekend is turning out dreadful for impactful calls and we’re only in the second match.” The problem is the VAR threshold. Is it a clear and obvious error? To me it is, but I’m just a bloke. I can understand people who will say it wasn’t clear and obvious because he tried to impede him. Half-time entertainment It’s half-time in the 3pm kick-offs, and these are the latest scores in all our featured games Premier League Newcastle 4-3 West Ham (FT) Bournemouth 0-0 Everton Chelsea 1-0 Burnley Nottingham Forest 0-1 Crystal Palace Sheffield United 0-0 Fulham Tottenham Hotspur 0-1 Luton Town Women’s Super League Aston Villa 2-2 Leicester City (FT) Liverpool 1-4 Man City (FT) Scottish Premiership Rangers 2-1 Hibernian Bundesliga Bayer Leverkusen 0-1 Hoffenheim (2.30pm) Serie A Napoli 0-3 Atalanta (FT) GOAL! Rangers 2-1 Hibernian (Dessers 45+7) Cyriel Dessers restores Rangers’ lead in the seventh minute of added time, most of which was because of that VAR festival either side of James Tavernier’s missed penalty. Sevilla’s 1-0 win at Getafe in the early La Liga game was marred by, you guessed it, racist chanting GOAL! Rangers 1-1 Hibernian (Maolida 45+2) A big goal for Hibs, and Celtic. Myziane Maolida has equalised on the stroke of half-time at Ibrox. Chelsea 1-0 Burnley I’ve just seen a video of the Chelsea penalty, and it’s fair to say it was Andrex-soft. GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 Burnley (Palmer 44 pen) With the regular taker Raheem Sterling on the subs bench, Cole Palmer strolls up and Panenkas the penalty straight down the middle. Maybe we should call it the Palmenka, eh, eh? Oh. Vincent Kompany has also been sent off at Stamford Bridge, so we can probably assume his external monologue was also a riot. Penalty to Chelsea! Red card to Burnley! Vincent Kompany’s internal monologue will be a riot. Lorenz Assignon has been given a second yellow card for pulling back Mudryk and Chelsea have a penalty. Sheff Utd 0-0 Fulham The in-form Rodrigo Muniz has hit the post at Bramall Lane, where Fulham are on top. His first shot was pushed onto the post by Ivo Grbic; the ball came back to Muniz, who apparenetly tried a rabona and made a mess of it. If true, that’s a sensational piece of trolling. Nottm Forest 0-1 Crystal Palace “I know Walter did ‘Nam and all that,” says Jeremy Boyce, “but I bet he never enjoyed an afternoon or night out in Nottin’Nam. Are Palace the marmot in Nuno’s bathtub?” The latest in our featured games Premier League Newcastle 4-3 West Ham (FT) Bournemouth 0-0 Everton Chelsea 0-0 Burnley Nottingham Forest 0-1 Crystal Palace Sheffield United 0-0 Fulham Tottenham Hotspur 0-1 Luton Town Women’s Super League Aston Villa 2-2 Leicester City (FT) Liverpool 1-4 Man City (FT) Scottish Premiership Rangers 1-0 Hibernian Bundesliga Bayer Leverkusen 0-1 Hoffenheim (2.30pm) Serie A Napoli 0-3 Atalanta (FT) Bournemouth 0-0 Everton Dominic Calvert-Lewin has just missed a decent chance for Everton, extending his goalless run. The life of the mind, eh. Premier League There’s almost no point publishing the as-it-stands table, given the uncertainty over points deductions, so here’s the bottom five. GOAL! Rangers 1-0 Hibernian (Tavernier 26) Right, VAR has been getting busy. Scott Wright’s goal was disallowed for encroachment, but James Tavenier has just scored the opening goal. Nothing to do with the original penalty, this was in normal play, a crisp volley from the edge of the area. Suppose we’d better update this again. Half time: Bayer Leverkusen 0-1 Hoffenheim Has Xabi Alonso taken Hoffenheim as far as he can? Nottm Forest 0-1 Crystal Palace “Do you reckon,” begins Gerry Scott, “Nuno hates the effing Eagles about now?” This is my kind of Clockwatch. But I’m not sure Walter would approve of all this craic on a Saturday. NO GOAL! Chelsea 0-0 Burnley The ball hit Disasi’s hand, apparently, so it’s been ruled out. GOAL! Rangers 1-0 Hibernian (Wright 21) Not content with flattening two of his teammates, Nectarios Triantos conceded a penalty at Ibrox. James Tavernier’s kick was saved but Scott Wright scored the rebound. Tottenham 0-1 Luton Spurs have just had a great double chance, apparently. It’s probably fair to assume this game won’t end 1-0. Edit: Son hit both posts and then a follow-up shot was cleared off the line. GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 Burnley (Disasi 20) Chelsea are in front at the Bridge. Rangers 0-0 Hibernian A fiasco for the ages at Ibrox. Hibs’ Nectarios Triantis took a quick free-kick and accidentally leathered the ball straight into the noggin of a teammate, Joe Newell I think. He was poleaxed, and the ball ricocheted to hit another Hibs player in the head and knock him off his feet as well. GOAL! Nottm Forest 0-1 Crystal Palace (Mateta 11) Nottingham Forest’s month from hell contines. The wizard Ebere Eze has made a goal for Jean-Phillipe Mateta at the City Ground. It was a cracking finish too, sidefooted into the top corner from the edge of the area. “With regard to Larry demanding exciting football,” writes Peadar in Poland, “I really hope West Ham get their car back and the Credence tapes.” But what about the 3-1 leads? The latest in our featured games Premier League Newcastle 4-3 West Ham (FT) Bournemouth 0-0 Everton Chelsea 0-0 Burnley Nottingham Forest 0-0 Crystal Palace Sheffield United 0-0 Fulham Tottenham Hotspur 0-1 Luton Town Women’s Super League Aston Villa 2-2 Leicester City (FT) Liverpool 1-4 Man City (FT) Scottish Premiership Rangers 0-0 Hibernian Bundesliga Bayer Leverkusen 0-1 Hoffenheim (2.30pm) Serie A Napoli 0-3 Atalanta (FT) GOAL! Bayer Leverkusen 0-1 Hoffenheim (Beier 33) BREAKING NEWS: HOFFENHEIM HAVE CROSSED THE HALFWAY LINE. Maximilian Beier cut inside from the left, played a one-two with Wout Weghorst and sidefooted the ball through the legs of Lukas Hradecky. GOAL! Tottenham 0-1 Luton (Chong 3) Yep. Tahith Chong has banged Luton ahead on the break. Andros Townsend, against his old club, robbed Son and ran 60 yards down the right. He screwed the ball back to Barkley, who had too much time to square it across the area to Chong. He had even more time to take a touch and drive a low shot across Vicario. Match report: Newcastle 4-3 West Ham Do you see what happens, Larry, if you demand exciting football? Leverkusen 0-0 Hoffenheim Almost half an hour gone in Germany, where the leaders are still goalless against Hoffenheim. Look, it’s illegal to watch the game here so I’ve no idea what happened, but the old xG is 0.26-0.00. We’ve instructed local reporters to investigate whether Hoffenheim have crossed the halfway line. “Help!” is the promising subject of Simon McMahon’s email. “Only one show in town in Scotland today, Rob, and it’s at Tannadice where Scottish Championship leaders and champions-elect renowned big-game bottlers Dundee United play Raith Rovers, a point behind United but with a game in hand. Failure to win today would see the destination of the title move outwith United’s own hands for the first time this season, with only a handful of games left to play. And they’ve only themselves to blame. Inconsistent home form, an inability to settle on a best XI from a manager who has been consistently tactically outmanoeuvred by others with far fewer resources, loss of form / confidence at key moments, one point from nine against their only rivals for the title. “Yet for all that we[hang on, weren’t they ‘they’ a minute ago – ed.] should still be miles clear. But we’re not, and another season in the Championship could be a live possibility at 5pm. Or we could be favourites again. For the last three months, both United and Raith have appeared to be actively trying not to win this league. But one of them will, and we should be a lot nearer to knowing who at full time today. As you can probably tell, I’m all over the place. Like United’s defence recently. That it’s come to this. Football, eh..? It’s not the despair... etc etc” Talking of Scotland, because it’s all one place, the title of the new Arab Strap album is giving me untold joy. (NB: link contains emojis, and adult language) Thanks Tom, outstanding work. Let’s start in La Liga, where Sevilla lead 1-0 at Getafe with a couple of minutes remaining. This, in truth, wouldn’t ordinarily past the formidable Clockwatch bar. But the goal was scored by Sergio Ramos, on his birthday, and he celebrated by blowing out some imaginary candles. It would have been ever better if he had 38 fingers. “Good morning from Pittsburgh!” chirps Eric Peterson, “In the foreboding dread of my Everton’s next points deduction, this bargain occurred to me, and I offer this to my fellow Toffeeheads for consideration. Imagine if the Premier League -- or whatever shadow organization is really handing down these sanctions -- offered the following deal: Everton’s next points deduction will be equivalent to the number of goals that Dominic Calvert-Lewin and Beto combine to score over the rest of the Premier League season. Do you take it?” An unenviable choice. But tell us more of this “shadow organisation”. And after that flurry of activity and chatter, it’s time to hand over to Rob Smyth who’ll talk you through the 3pm action. It’s also finished Aston Villa 2-2 Leicester in the mid-table tussle in the WSL. Full-time: Newcastle 4-3 West Ham And after an interminable 10-minutes-plus injury-time, Newcastle cling on for a massive win, which dents West Ham’s top-six hopes while boosting their own. WSL full-time: Liverpool 1-4 Manchester City City’s imperious run continues, Khadija Shaw scoring twice in an emphatic win over the fourth-placed side that puts the visitors three points clear at the top. They’ve played one more game than Chelsea, of course, and Emma Hayes’s side aren’t in league action this weekend, facing Arsenal in the Conti Cup finall tomorrow. Goal! Newcastle 4-3 West Ham (Barnes 90) Barnes has done it again! Barry Glendenning has much much more on a sensational late comeback Goal! Newcastle 3-3 West Ham (Barnes 83) Drama at St James’! Harvey Barnes strikes with a well worked equaliser, running on to Isak’s wonderfully weighted through ball and tucking it under Fabianski. At Prenton Park, Khiara Keating’s own goal has given Liverpool a consolation goal against Manchester City in the WSL. It’s now 1-4 to City but Taylor Hinds deserves the credit for a stunning shot that thwacked the bar and rebounded in off the City keeper. Goal! Newcastle 2-3 West Ham (Isak 77pen) Aleksander Isak has just tucked a penalty into the corner to put Newcastle back in it at St James’ Park after poor old Kalvin Phillips was adjudged to have fouled Anthony Gordon. More Premier League teams Chelsea v Burnley Chelsea: Petrovic, Gusto, Disasi, Badiashile, Cucurella, Caicedo, Fernandez, Palmer, Gallagher, Mudryk, Jackson. Subs: Thiago Silva, Sterling, Madueke, Bettinelli, Casadei, Deivid Washington, Gilchrist, Tauriainen, Acheampong. Burnley: Muric, Assignon, O’Shea, Esteve, Vitinho, Bruun Larsen, Cullen, Berge, Odobert, Amdouni, Foster. Subs: Trafford, Taylor, Cork, Gudmundsson, Brownhill, Rodriguez, Benson, Ekdal, Ndayishimiye. Referee: Darren England (South Yorkshire) Sheff Utd v Fulham Sheff Utd: Grbic, Holgate, Ahmedhodzic, Robinson, Bogle, Vinicius Souza, Arblaster, Hamer, Osborn, McBurnie, Brereton. Subs: Trusty, Norwood, Foderingham, Ben Slimane, Larouci, McAtee, Curtis, Osula, Brooks. Fulham: Leno, Castagne, Adarabioyo, Bassey, Robinson, Joao Palhinha, Lukic, Iwobi, Andreas Pereira, Willian, Rodrigo Muniz. Subs: Rodak, Tete, Reed, Jimenez, Wilson, Cairney, Traore, Ream, De Cordova-Reid. Referee: Tim Robinson (West Sussex) In the WSL, Rachel Daly has pulled Aston Villa level at 2-2 in their home game against Leicester. And more teams, from the Scottish Premiership: Rangers v Hibernian Rangers: Butland, Tavernier, Goldson, Souttar, Barisic, Diomande, Lundstram, Scott Wright, Cantwell, Silva, Dessers. Subs: Lawrence, Matondo, Sima, Sterling, Balogun, McCrorie, King, Raskin, McCausland. Hibernian: Marshall, Cadden, Fish, Bushiri, Obita, Triantis, Newell, Youan, Marcondes, Maolida, Le Fondre. Subs: Hanlon, Levitt, Boyle, Wollacott, Mayenda, Stevenson, Tavares, Moriah-Welsh, Whittaker. Referee: David Dickinson (Scotland) Premier League teams Tottenham v Luton Tottenham: Vicario, Porro, Romero, Dragusin, Udogie, Bissouma, Sarr, Kulusevski, Maddison, Werner, Son. Subs: Hojbjerg, Richarlison, Emerson, Lo Celso, Johnson, Bentancur, Davies, van de Ven, Austin. Luton: Kaminski, Burke, Mengi, Kabore, Berry, Mpanzu, Barkley, Doughty, Townsend, Chong, Morris. Subs: Onyedinma, Shea, Woodrow, Clark, Krul, Hashioka, Johnson, Nelson, Piesold. Referee: Jarred Gillett (Australia). Bournemouth v Everton Bournemouth: Neto, Smith, Mepham, Zabarnyi, Kerkez, Adams, Cook, Semenyo, Kluivert, Tavernier, Solanke. Subs: Kelly, Faivre, Ouattara, Scott, Hill, Unal, Billing, Aarons, Travers. Everton: Pickford, Coleman, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Godfrey, Harrison, Onana, Garner, McNeil, Doucoure, Calvert-Lewin. Subs: Patterson, Keane, Virginia, Beto, Young, Andre Gomes, Gueye, Chermiti, Warrington. Referee: Sam Barrott (West Yorkshire). Nottingham Forest v Crystal Palace Nottm Forest: Sels, Williams, Felipe, Murillo, Aina, Yates, Sangare, Origi, Gibbs-White, Hudson-Odoi, Wood. Subs: Turner, Toffolo, Dominguez, Reyna, Elanga, Danilo, Montiel, Omobamidele, Duarte Ribeiro. Crystal Palace: Henderson, Ward, Andersen, Richards, Munoz, Wharton, Lerma, Mitchell, Ayew, Eze, Mateta. Subs: Tomkins, Schlupp, Clyne, Hughes, Ahamada, Matthews, Ozoh, Umeh, Mathurin. Referee: Christopher Kavanagh (Lancashire) On other channels … Newcastle have suffered too many defeats and injuries for their liking this term, and it looks like they’re getting more where that came from today. They’re 1-3 down at home to West Ham, and Barry Glendenning has more: Preamble Afternoon everyone, as the Premier League returns for the run-in. This afternoon’s main points of interest centre around the asterisk-pockmarked relegation tussle, with Everton going to Bournemouth beset by points-deduction and takeover angst, not to mention concerns about their recent chronic lack of firepower on the pitch. Their partners in PSR crime (subject to appeal), Nottingham Forest, can haul themselves out of the drop zone their points deducation has dumped them in if they beat Crystal Palace and Luton don’t win at Spurs, the only top-eight side in 3pm action. Elsewhere, almost-doomed Sheffield United host Fulham and Burnley can boost their slim survival hopes by feeding on Chelsea’s overarching mood of discontent – though it’s something of a long shot. There’s also another title race to home in on this afternoon though – and that’s Bayer Leverkusen’s likely progress towards a first ever German title. Xabi Alonso’s corporately-owned club may not offer the ideal underdog story, but in an era of repetitive uncompetitive superclub title wins, for one of Europe’s big leagues to be won by a side who’ve never won it before is a rare and treasurable prospect. Expect lots of close-up shots of Alonso to come in on the picture wires after his decision to stay put. Jonathan Wilson has written with characteristic insight on all that here. Lerverkusen host Hoffenheim in a 2.30pm GMT kick-off. We’ve also got lunchtime WSL matches wrapping up soon – Emilia Hawkins is on Manchester City’s procession at Liverpool, with Khadija Shaw working her magic again – and in Serie A, Napoli’s season has taken another lurch for the worse – they’ve lost 0-3 at home to Atalanta, who in sixth place stretch their advantage over last year’s champions a place below. And in Scotland, Rangers can go back to the top with victory over Hibs at Ibrox. And while we’re waiting, here’s yer 10 things: