Big Vin Kompany has a mountain to climb after his team’s latest defeat. Jamie Jackson was at the Etihad. Jacob Steinberg saw a London derby classic. Dominic Booth witnessed the drama at Bramall Lane. Will Unwin was at Goodison Park Here’s our FA Cup results, with a roundup to follow. The big winners of the day were Aldershot in winning 7-4 at Swindon, and then Ramsgate beating Woking 2-1. Joe Pearson, our merry prankster: “For Jeremy Boyce. Seeing as I was 13 at the time, I was completely unaltered. Can’t say that about some of the people in the seats around me, though.” Kit Harrison: “I tuned in for football coverage, but now the live chat thread has excelled itself and metamorphosed into a pulsating well of psychedelic lifeblood. Have to confess, I’ve been swept up by the enthusiasm and placed a call to my favourite lettuce distributor ten minutes ago. Just say perhaps.” Rowan Hooper: “Hi John - wasn’t the rumour about the inspiration for Only A Prawn in Whitby that Cud had seen Morrissey eating prawns in Whitby thus breaking his avowed vegetarianism?” Kari Tulinius: “I honestly can’t remember what the first gig I ever went to was, but given that I saw them a lot in my early years of music obsession, odds are it was Sigur Rós back when they were long-haired hippies who played 12 minute semi-improvised jams named something like Ocean Sun.” Phil Keegan: “You just made my day with the Kate/Bobb gag. Had you been saving it up or was it spontaneous? Brilliant either way. Greetings from Vietnam.” It was spontaneous but I was once accused of basing my entire sense of humour on Blackadder…so maybe not. FA Cup: Swindon 4-7 Aldershot. A scoreline from the 1950s there. Full-time: Brentford 3-2 West Ham Thomas Frank, what a manager. Brentford really is the place to go to see goals and excitement. One win in seven for David Moyes in the Premier League… Full-time: Everton 1-1 Brighton Brighton had all the possession but it took an own-goal for them to steal a point. Full-time: Sheffield United 2-1 Wolves Orgiastic scenes at Bramall Lane, Fabio Silva is in tears, and George Baldock, who he fouled, is consoling him. Those weren’t fireworks you just heard, they were the sound of Gary O’Neil exploding. Full-time: Manchester City 6-1 Bournemouth Too easy, and Jeremy Doku is the star man in a 15th successive home win. Goal! Sheffield United 2-1 Wolves (Norwood, 90+9 pen) And Blades have done it, won their first match of the season. Penalty to Sheffield United! Sheffield United 1-1 Wolves: Do Blades have a penalty? Fabio Silva on George Baldock…they do have a penalty…Gary O’Neil will go potty. Full-time: Burnley 0-2 Crystal Palace Six home matches, six losses for Burnley, and a vital win for Palace. Sheffield United 1-1 Wolves: Lemina handball? Blades penalty? VAR denies that. Goal! Burnley 0-2 Crystal Palace (Mitchell, 90+4) Burnley concede another late goal, and Palace score on the counter. Vin Kompany is in trouble. Championship: Birmingham 2-2 Ipswich. Harness levels it, his second and Wayne Rooney is a sickened man. Championship: Millwall 0-1 Southampton, a late goal from Ryan Fraser has done it. The away end is bouncing. Sheffield United 1-1 Wolves: Paul Heckingbottom is booked for complaining that Ben Hamer was injured and down when Wolves equalised. Goal! Manchester City 6-1 Bournemouth (Ake, 89) It’s a diving header against his former club, with an assist from Bobb (short for Kate). Doku had four assists before that. Goal! Sheffield United 1-1 Wolves (Bellegarde, 88) The sub’s goal means Blades are denied their win. It had been coming. Goal! Everton 1-1 Brighton (Young, 84 OG) One of the Premier League’s senior citizens has just had a senior moment. FA Cup: the comeback’s on. Swindon have scored twice. So it’s 7-2 to Aldershot. Goal! Manchester City 5-1 Bournemouth (Silva, 84) What a player, what a goal, who can stop City? Championship: Ipswich get one back against Birmingham. It’s Marcus Harness. Joe Pearson gets back in touch: “Great choice, John! Thanks! Because I know you love trivia (and probably already know this), it’s a cover of Keef Hartley Band song. Keef Hartley Band are best known for refusing to be filmed for Woodstock unless they got paid up front. An enormously bad decision.” I didn’t know that. Jeremy Boyce: “Wow ! Far Out Joe, seeing Randy California and the boys (Spirit) in the flesh, if only by accident. Were you on anything at the time ? I think he mostly was judging by the output. Today’s match is very much track 1 disc 2 of their excellent Biennial (acid) double album, Spirit of ‘76.” In the Championship, West Brom 3-1 Hull. The Baggies are hitting a rich vein of form. (This would be three in a row.) FA Cup shock ahoy: Ramsgate 2-1 Woking. The goal scored by Lee Martin, formerly of Manchester United but not that Lee Martin, the one who played for Ipswich and Millwall. Everton 1-0 Brighton: David Wall get in touch, “i think this is a really interesting period for Brighton and De Zerbi. Since he took over it’s been a pretty consistent upward curve for them, and he’s become the manager-in-fashion that people are talking about admiringly, and that many more high profile clubs would try to poach if they want to change manager. But Brighton’s recent results have been pretty poor and it’s only their excellent start to the season that is keeping them around the top end of the table. As things stand they’d be below Manchester United! It’s a good test for De Zerbi, to see if he’s able to adapt things when they’re not getting results, as opposed to just implementing a style of play and letting results come and go as they may. If he can show that then it’s sure-up his status as the next big managerial thing.” Goal! Manchester City 4-1 Bournemouth (Sinisterra, 75) City have stepped off and paid the price, a long ball out and Sinisterra scores. VAR check and he was behind the ball anyway. Goal! Brentford 3-2 West Ham (Collins, 70) Nathan Collins scores his first goal for Brentford in a minor London derby classic, and it was set up by a great cross by Mathias Jensen. Oh dear, Swindon, Goal! Sheffield United 1-0 Wolves (Archer, 72) Cameron sublime Archer’s finish has given Blades the chance to win a first win of the season. Manchester City 4-0 Bournemouth: City withdrew Erling Haaland due to an apparent injury at half-time but his replacement, Foden scored. Everton 1-0 Brighton: I’m still waiting for an explanation as to why Dunk’s goal was given offside,” says Tony Rutt. “He was onside and the player in the middle wasn’t interfering.” Goal! Manchester City 4-0 Bournemouth (Foden, 64) City get the overload and Foden glides through in that skating style of his and slots home. Joe Pearson, the truest of heads, gets in touch: “First ever gigs! Great topic! For me it was June 1971. Saw Spirit (with opening act Rastus) at Clowes Hall on the Butler University campus here in Indianapolis. I mainly went to see Rastus, who were a horn band like Chicago, but cooler.” Ant in Alicante gets in touch: “Very little excuse needed to bring up Cud in the conversation! Apart from the belter you mentioned, my fondest memory of them was their astonishing version of Bohemian Rhapsody for that anti-Poll Tax album back in the day.” They also did a mean version of the Quo’s Down Down. Goal! Brentford 2-2 West Ham (Mavropanos, 55 OG) The Bees find their way back and the former Arsenal man can’t help but head past Areola. Wayne Rooney’s Birmingham are leading Ipswich 2-0 after an own-goal. “Rooney, Rooney,” they sang. In the FA Cup: Marine are now losing 1-3 to Harrogate. Meanwhile, Swindon 0-5 Aldershot looks the score of the round so far. From Caledonia, Simon McMahon: “United - Inverness goalless at half time, John. Maybe Big Dunc will bring himself on? Still looks fit enough.” Brentford 1-2 West Ham: Bees keeper Mark Flekken is injured, and on comes Thomas Strakosha. Ben Dakin gets in touch: “What a delight to see Leeds’ finest appear in the clockwatch feed. Worth a mention they are playing the 02 Academy tonight with The Boo Radleys - on at 7pm. They are still the finest live experience - like a fine wine, they get better with age!!” Cud were on the bill of my first ever gig. With Pixies and The Real People. Manchester City 3-0 Bournemouth: Dom Solanke has just had a goal disallowed for the visitors. But denied by offside and the subsequent VAR check. And away back we go... The second halves are underway… Dominic Booth is at Bramall Lane: “Readers will note the lack of mention for Sheffield United 0-0 Wolves so far on today’s clockwatch. Yet anyone who witnessed that first 45 minutes at Bramall Lane will surely forgive such an oversight. It’s been low quality stuff. Wolves have, predictably, enjoyed the better of proceedings, but their finishing has been abysmal at the crucial moments. Hwang Hee-Chan took a horrendous swipe at one, slicing it, and Nelson Semedo’s decision to pass instead of fire in at the near post was baffling. The locals are a bit restless at the Blades’ performance. They, like this game in general, have been sub-optimal.” In the Championship, Wayne Rooney’s Birmingham are leading Ipswich 1-0, thanks to Jay Stansfield, on loan from Fulham. Half-time: Brentford 1-2 West Ham A lively game in which there’s been plenty of chance but the Hammers have been the better finishers. Jarod Bowen’s goal had a whiff of offside about it. Half-time: Manchester City 3-0 Bournemouth City utterly dominant. It’s now a question of whether they step off the gas or not. Half-time: Everton 1-0 Brighton. VAR and some good Everton defending has kept Brighton at bay. Half-time: Sheffield United 0-0 Wolves Wolves have had the better of it, with Sasa Kalajdzic going close in the last few moments. Half-time: Burnley 0-1 Crystal Palace There’s boos as the teams leave the field. Marc Guehi is in the face of the referee and is booked. Everton 1-0 Brighton: More from our correspondent. “Should be said Everton had 22% possession in May and won 5-1 away to Brighton.” In the FA Cup, Whitby Town are 4-1 down at Bristol Rovers. More on Emma Hayes, with rumours (rumors?) suggesting she is headed for the USWNT. Everton 1-0 Brighton: From our correspondent: “Just your 83% possession for Brighton.” Just how Sean Dyche wants it? Goal! Manchester City 3-0 Bournemouth (Akanje, 38) Doku is taking Bournemouth apart, scoring one, assisting two. This could get very ugly. Or beautiful if you are City. Doku’s shot comes off Akanje’s back. In the Championship, Barry Bannon has been sent off for bottom club Sheffield Wednesday against Bristol City. Goal! Manchester City 2-0 Bournemouth (Silva, 34) Doku is running the show, and takes Mepham asunder and sets up Bernardo Silva. City will be top of the league at the end of the 3pms. Pressure is then placed on Arsenal at Newcastle. Sheffield United 0-0 Wolves: not much happening as yet here. The only PL game without a goal. Goal! Manchester City 1-0 Bournemouth (Doku, 30) The winger cuts in from the flank, exchanges passes with Rodri and scores. Niall Mullen with our weekly VAR complaint: “I’m old enough to remember 2 points for a win so I think I’m qualified to say that VAR is the worst innovation in the game for the past 40 years. Bringing, as it does, neither fairness, nor accuracy, nor joy can’t we all just club together to pay off whomever it is we need to pay off to get shot of it?” Goal! Brentford 1-2 West Ham (Bowen, 26) Kudus is involved – of course – and Bowen has become the first player to score in the first six away matches of the season. He’s a bull of a player…there’s a VAR call. Did it hit his hand? No, looks like his stomach. The stat stands. One for the Liverpool fans among you: Marine 1-1 Harrogate in the FA Cup. It’s set up by Jordan Ayew and the agony is piled on Vin Kompany. His team had been the better team in this match. Defending has been a problem. Mind, so has attacking. Charles Antaki is here too. “So Emma Hayes to leave Chelsea – that’s a bit of a showstopper. You would’ve thought that she’d stay on to build the kind of empire that Arsenal had under dear old Vic Akers, back in the day. A sad loss for Chelsea, but the kind of news that will have rival club managers rubbing their hands. Also rumourmongers, with the England job surely up for grabs at some point?” And announcing she is leaving at the end of the season that’s just started? Something odd there. Kári Tulinius gets in touch: “I’ve always liked Neal Maupay, for the somewhat arbitrary reason that he is a voracious reader. So seeing him regain form is happy news for us bookish sorts. Hopefully his fellow bookworm Divock Origi can get off the mark at Forest.” Brentford 1-1 West Ham (Kudus, 19) A brilliant volley from a player who only seems to score spectacular goals. Some game down in that bus stop in Hounslow…. Burnley 0-0 Crystal Palace: Eduoard gets a yellow for challenging the Burnley keeper, James Trafford. There’s a VAR look to see if it might a red. But not given. Palace breathe a sigh of relief. Brighton goal ruled out at Everton! Pascal Gross sets up Dunk for a hell of a finish…there’s a VAR ruling. Is he offside? It seems so. Michael Oliver is the VAR. It’s tight. They take their time over it. Goal! Brentford 1-0 West Ham (Maupay, 11) His first goal in 35 matches, since 2019, he heads home. Maupay has been playing well of late so that’s just reward. He’s led the line well in the absence of Ivan Toney. Frank Onyeka got the assist. Goal! Everton 1-0 Brighton (Mykolenko, 7) First goal in the Premier League and the Ukrainian scored on the rebound, and against the run of play. Sean Dyche will really enjoy beating De Zerbi. Long way to go. In the FA Cup, here’s the first goal of the afternoon. Swindon 0 Aldershot 1 (Jack Barham 1) Emma Hayes to depart Chelsea She will leave at the end of the season, and to pursue an opportunity away from club football. From the website: ”Chelsea FC can today confirm that highly decorated Chelsea Women’s manager Emma Hayes OBE will depart the club at the end of the season to pursue a new opportunity outside of the WSL and club football.” Jonathan Liew was at Craven Cottage to see Manchester United win with the return of Bruno. Around the grounds, there’s been remembrance ceremonies, it being Remembrance Sunday next week and most clubs playing at home today being away next week. And away we go in the Premier League... And EFL too. What magic awaits us now? “What is the history of the three o clock blackout?” asks Kurt Perleberg. Try this. Bob Lord was a fearsome figure way back when. Whether when is now is the big question. Simon McMahon reports in from Caledonia: “Afternoon John. Inverness are the visitors to Tannadice today, as high-flying Scottish Championship pacesetters Dundee United look to extend their unbeaten start in the league to 12 games. The Highlanders, second bottom only on goal difference, are now managed by United legend Big Dunc(an) Ferguson, who started his career under Jim McLean at Tannadice. A warm welcome, but hopefully also a defeat, awaits. Only two games in the Scottish Premiership today due to the League Cup semi-finals taking place later, with Celtic currently 1-0 up at Ross County in the early kick-off, and Kilmarnock v Motherwell at 3.” Re: the Arsenal bus. The PA news agency understands the coach took the wrong exit off the M25 and, when realised, it was too late to make the 12pm kick-off time. Reports suggesting the team travelled to Bournemouth instead are wide of the mark. Jack Wilshere’s side, seventh in the Premier League Under-18 south table, were forced to postpone the game which will now be played at a later date. Everton midfielder Amadou Onana missed the visit of Brighton with a calf problem so Idrissa Gana Gueye was drafted in as his replacement. Ashley Young, who was suspended last weekend, replaced Nathan Patterson as the only other change from Sunday’s win over West Ham. Goalkeeper Bart Verbruggen was restored to Brighton’s line-up as one of five changes from the draw with Fulham, with Joel Veltman, Jan Paul van Hecke, James Milner and Billy Gilmour all coming in. Bruno’s eased the pressure on Erik Ten Hag with his winner, paddled home after some rather poor Fulham defending. Now, what can the others do? Sheff Utd v Wolverhampton teams Sheff Utd: Foderingham, Baldock, Trusty, Robinson, Bogle, Vinicius Souza, Norwood, Hamer, Thomas, Brewster, Archer. Subs: Fleck, Traore, Osborn, Ben Slimane, Larouci, McAtee, Osula, Brooks, Amissah. Wolverhampton: Jose Sa, Kilman, Dawson, Gomes, Nelson Semedo, Lemina, Doyle, Ait Nouri, Matheus Cunha, Hwang, Kalajdzic. Subs: Doherty, Santiago Bueno, Traore, Joao Gomes, Silva, Jonny, Sarabia, Bentley, Bellegarde. Referee: Robert Jones (Merseyside) Burnley v Crystal Palace teams Burnley: Trafford, Vitinho, Beyer, O’Shea, Taylor, Gudmundsson, Berge, Brownhill, Koleosho, Amdouni, Rodriguez. Subs: Roberts, Redmond, Zaroury, Ndayishimiye, Bruun Larsen, Massengo, Delcroix, Odobert, Muric. Crystal Palace: Johnstone, Ward, Andersen, Guehi, Mitchell, Doucoure, Lerma, Ayew, Hughes, Schlupp, Edouard. Subs: Holding, Eze, Matheus Franca, Mateta, Clyne, Richards, Ahamada, Matthews, Riedewald. Referee: Peter Bankes (Merseyside) Man City v AFC Bournemouth teams Man City: Ederson, Walker, Akanji, Ake, Stones, Rodri, Bernardo Silva, Alvarez, Kovacic, Doku, Haaland. Subs: Dias, Phillips, Grealish, Ortega, Gvardiol, Matheus Luiz, Foden, Bobb, Lewis. AFC Bournemouth: Andrei Radu, Aarons, Mepham, Zabarnyi, Kelly, Kerkez, Christie, Scott, Billing, Tavernier, Solanke. Subs: Brooks, Rothwell, Ouattara, Smith, Sinisterra, Kluivert, Semenyo, Senesi, Travers. Referee: Craig Pawson (South Yorkshire) Everton v Brighton teams Everton: Pickford, Young, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Mykolenko, Harrison, Garner, Gueye, McNeil, Doucoure, Calvert-Lewin. Subs: Patterson, Keane, Danjuma, Virginia, Beto, Godfrey, Chermiti, Lonergan, Dobbin. Brighton: Verbruggen, Veltman, Dunk, van Hecke, Adingra, Milner, Gilmour, Mitoma, Gross, Lallana, Ferguson. Subs: Lamptey, Igor, Webster, Dahoud, Joao Pedro, Baleba, Steele, Fati, Buonanotte. Referee: Tim Robinson (West Sussex) Brentford v West Ham teams Brentford: Flekken, Ajer, Collins, Pinnock, Janelt, Onyeka, Norgaard, Jensen, Mbeumo, Maupay, Wissa. Subs: Jorgensen, Ghoddos, Mee, Strakosha, Roerslev, Yarmolyuk, Olakigbe, Brierley, Adedokun. West Ham: Areola, Coufal, Mavropanos, Aguerd, Emerson Palmieri, Soucek, Ward-Prowse, Bowen, Kudus, Benrahma, Antonio. Subs: Fabianski, Johnson, Cresswell, Fornals, Cornet, Ings, Ogbonna, Kehrer, Mubama. Referee: Thomas Bramall (Sheffield) Whatever happens now, perhaps nobody has had a worse day in football than the Arsenal coach driver. Preamble FIVE Premier League games at 3pm. The football gods are really spoiling us. Brentford v West Ham sees a London derby of west vs east, the Hammers off the back of walloping Arsenal, the Bees after swarming all over Chelsea. Burnley v Crystal Palace is a chance for Vin Kompany to win a home game, they had a bad run of big boys to start with but after last week’s loss at Bournemouth, this is a vital game for the Clarets. Everton v Brighton: what a job Sean Dyche is doing, by the way, is the sheen wearing off Roberto De Zerbi? Manchester City v Bournemouth: lambs to the slaughter but how much will Pep Guardiola praise Andoni Iraola afterwards? And Sheffield United v Wolves: no Pedro Neto for Wolves, so does that mean Blades can land a first win? You’d still have to say that’s unlikely. All that and the hottest action from the FA Cup, EFL and across Europe. Join me.